Sometimes I Am Emo

I am an empath. I FEEL things. Too much, sometimes. I assume and imagine and end up hurting my own feelings. 
Kind of what I am doing right now. I wish I were tougher. I wish I didn't care. 


People can surprise you with how predictable they can be. Or maybe I'm just imagining things again.


Last night I dreamt I was on the moon. I was very alone and afraid to go for a walk. Then I was back on earth and still alone in a crowd full of people. 


I wish spring would arrive. 

Days and Days

They slowly blend into each other more quickly than I can imagine. Each one brings new discoveries, new joy, new frustration. 


(I just now realized what I gave up for Lent, but I'm not telling what it is. Because I may have given it up for longer.)


Today will be a day of laundry, DVR-ed television and hair color. I hope. 


The shopping trip with the bestie was wonderful. Funny how now  I appreciate things I would once do on a weekly basis (like...go out to lunch and go shopping for ONLY myself). 


I've been trying to incorporate color and pattern into my wardrobe. For some reason I am generally drawn to black, white and grey. I used to punch up these colors with sassy jewelry, but I've stopped doing that. 

Birthday tunic. To be worn with black AA leggings and tall boots. I don't think my DH likes this one. 

Please ignore my stupid hair. I was wearing a hat. 

I also got a strapless, summery dress to wear as a bathing suit cover-up. I don't wear shorts and have yet to find a general skirt length that does not stumpify, so long light dresses are my go-to for summer. 

Both of those are from Rue 21...a store that made both my bestie and me feel REALLY old. 

I tried on black skinny jeans at the Gap outlet, and LOVED them, but they were still a little out of my price range. Anyone have any suggestions for black skinny jeans under $50?

Bestie and I tried on pretty dresses at the BCBG outlet. I saw a white, ruffly iridescently sequined flapper dress that made me emotional with its beauty. Then I tried it on. 

Ew. 

We were witness to the MOST APPALLING customer service. If you ever go to that store at the outlets in Aurora...expect the worst. Because the sales girls there were aggressive and rude and committed the sales foul of talking sh*t ABOUT other customers TO other customers. 

My goodness. 

Today

Inexplicably called in to close last night. Confused. 


Wisdom teeth pain. 


A three-year old with...ahem...certain potty issues. He woke up early this morning crying for 'a wipe'. Poor kid. 


The fact that every photo we see in the media has been retouched. This infuriates me. 


My own belly. 


These things, for some reason, exhaust me. 
Tomorrow morning I will rise with or before the sun to get my teeth cleaned and have a new dentist admonish me for fillings falling out, plaque and whatever else...


Tomorrow afternoon I will be shopping at outlet malls with my best friend. We both need some time together.


Tomorrow evening my family will have dinner with her family. It will be a very welcome break. 


The upcoming 30th anniversary of my birth. Trying not to freak out about mortality. 


Today I will try and hold it together. Today we are getting new doors delivered. Today I will make the bed. Today I will be a good mommy. Today I will make it to the store for applesauce. Today I will apply generic numbing ointment to my teeth and gums as often as I deem it necessary. Today...I will....

Good Morning, Good Morning

Hey there intertubes. Hey. 
Been awhile, yeah?


Life has been steadily happening. Rain falls, sun shines, et cetera. 


I sit here typing through bleary eyes and swollen gums. Yesterday I went to see an oral surgeon for a wisdom teeth consultation. His recommendation was that I have all four of them removed. Then he took his dentist poker and poked the 'pockets'. 
It hurt, and there was blood.  
Apparently my teeth are in pretty bad shape. The four that natural selection should have gotten rid of, at least. I have been trying to get this surgery for nearly three years, but life and insurance have been getting in the way. 
Sorry for the gross factor. I'm trying to be authentic. And I did not sleep well last night. 
But the surgery is scheduled and I am trying not to psych myself out with fear. 


Work has been strangely fulfilling lately. I recently was promoted to Store Operations Manager, which is a fancy term for 'the one who makes sure shit gets done'. It means a little more responsibility and a little more money. 
I have recently been told that people look up to me there. Seeing as how I've been there the longest of ANYONE, I would hope that would be the case.I will try and not let anyone down.
We currently 'have' some of the gals from another store working at ours, and it is really nice to have some fresh blood in the shop.


To tie those two random paragraphs together...the receptionist asked for the name of my perfume while she was telling me how many penicillin pills to take before the surgery. 
It was Tuca Tuca, and I gave her the name of the website.


The inside of my left face hurts. 
I know, I know, its KILLING you, right?

Sister Saturday

yesterday my DH went to paintball with his pals. I urged him to go, since I understand the need for partners to get away from each other and relate to humans on a purely adult level. Meaning: no talk about kids or spouses...a gather with the purpose of fun. 


I knew I would be alone with the kid for the majority of the day, so I texted my sister to see if she wanted to come hang out and go bowling with us. She did. I was thrilled. 


The morning did not begin well. The kid was throwing a medium-sized tantrum when Mr. Smith left the house. My sister arrived shortly after. We played a little and got to the bowling alley around 11:30. Had a blast. 


We ran some errands after that-the post office, the grocery store, etc...


Then things went steadily downhill. Milo wanted to look at photos on my phone, and it wasn't working the way he wanted. 


To make a long story short, he threw the biggest tantrum I had ever seen, and did not take a nap. 


I don't post this to gain sympathy. I know there are much larger problems that my own. 


But in those moments when Milo was screaming and thrashing and telling me he didn't want to nap, that he wanted to play with his toys and I KNEW he needed to rest...those moments I had no freaking idea what I was doing. 


I get those moments often. I try to accept them and ask the Lord for guidance. But IN those moments I need to remember to be calm. And to not lose it. And to try SO VERY hard to remember that this is all for a purpose. 
Because yesterday I did NOT feel like a good mommy. I felt like a terrible ogre. 

Image source

You Are Welcome

Cute redhead? Check. Plump dudes dancing their butts off in raggedy t-shrt? Check.
Har Mar as the Devil? CHECK. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kgxn39eTQAs


Also...RIP, Nate Dogg...

The Weekend for the Dude(photo heavy)

Not THIS dude...

My little dude. 

He turned three this weekend. 

On Friday we went to Pinstripes and had dinner and went bowling. Milo really likes to bowl.

He was super excited to wear bowling shoes.

Milo and I both used bumpers, and I only out-bowled him by like 30 pins. SAD. 

We got home and gave Milo a bath and put him to bed, then set to decorating (of which I have no photos). We tried to watch The Godfather but we were too tired. 

Since we had a pancake breakfast planned, he got to stay in his jammies. 

He loved the balloons. 

And then people came over...

Brian and I had matching monkey pants. Cute?

We got Milo's cake at Target. It was REALLY good!!!

Milo's Auntie Megan gave him this supercool hat-he is madly in love with it. 

He removed his pants shortly after this photo was taken. 

Isn't she pretty?!?! She REALLY thinks she isn't!!! WTF?!?!?

Then on Sunday we  went to the All Aboard Diner in Downer's Grove. 

AMAZING. LOVE THIS PLACE. 

I guess I should have combed his hair...ah well. 

This is Papa, Brian and Milo waiting for his cupcake to come back around the track. 

It was a wonderful weekend, and I am SO PROUD of my little man. 

DANG IT

Insert heartfelt and touching post about my son here. 


My stupid camera isn't uploading. Although, I am accustomed to simply plugging it in and opening iPhoto. I can't figure out the issue past doing that, turning it off and on, plugging and un-plugging and saying what the f*CK!!!!


So...expect that heartfelt post later. Dang it. 

ABCs and 123s

Found this here and was bored. Figured you didn't want to hear about my dream of getting into a fight with some toothless white trashy old lady. 
A - AVAILABLE: Nope. 
B - BIRTHDAY: April 9
C - CRUSHING ON: Alber Elbaz and Amy Sedaris. 
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Coffee
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: The husb, my bestie and my sisters and mom
F - FAVORITE SONG: I have 'Born This Way' by Lady Gaga stuck in my head, but one of my favorites is 'Daft Punk is Playing at My House'- off Introns, by LCD Soundsystem
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Neither. Gelatin grosses me out. 
H - HOMETOWN: Round Lake, IL. *sigh*
I - IN LOVE WITH: My husband and son. Nail polish stickers. Liquid eyeliner
J - JUGGLE: I can't even catch a ball my kid throws to me...
K - KILLED SOMEONE: I killed my husband in one round (of three) last night while playing You Don't Know Jack. 
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Chi-town to Florida. The car died and we hitched. THATS a good story...
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Mint chocolate anything. 
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Two amazingly beautiful and sweet younger sissypoohs. 
O - ONE WISH: To truly love myself. 
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My bestie, obvs. 
Q- QUICKIE: Please?  Ovaries, I'm talking to you,here. 
R- REASON TO SMILE: The kiddo goes on the big potty by himself and tells me, 'Mommy I pooped. I flush. Ice cream?'
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: I can't remember! I usually listen to NPR in the car!
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:21 am
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: purple
V - VEGETABLE(S): pretty much all of them except eggplant. 
W - WORST HABIT: Procrastinating. 
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: teeth, shoulder, elbow
Y – YOYOS ARE: neither here nor there.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Aries forever. I don't give a shit how the planets shifted. 

Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: LTH SMTH
What color do you wear most?: Black and white-for work
Least favorite color?: Mustard yellow. Too...mustard-y. And I can't wear it.  
What are you listening to?: Cars outside, right now
Are you happy with your life right now?: Yeah, but I guess I should be a better everything
What is your favorite class in school?: AP ENGLISH,baby!!!!
Are you outgoing?: Oh yeah, but in an extremely subtle way.  
Favorite pair of shoes?: Grey boots from target, purple retro pumps 
Where do you wish you were right now?: A white sandy beach with a tropical drink in my hand, my husband at my side and my munchkin playing in the sand.  

THE CANS:

Can you dance?: Hells yes
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Yes! I didn't know I could until I visited Baltimore and was challenged to do so by the most adorable bartender ever and my friend who was convinced that I could do it, even though I had NEVER done it before. 
Can you whistle?: Yeah, but I kind of fins whistling annoying, so I try not to do it. 
Write with both hands?: Not well with either, haha. 
can you walk with your toes curled?: Yeah, I have weird toes. 

THE DO'S:

Do you believe there is life on other planets?: How could there NOT be?
Do you believe in miracles?: Not only do I believe in them , but I regularly ask God for them. 
Do you believe in magic?: sure
Love at first sight?: Lust yes, love no. 
Do you believe in Satan?: I don't really want to answer this-that motherfucker has too much power in my life as it is. 
Do you believe in Santa?: the spirit of him, totally. 
Do you like roller coasters?:YES! But not Superman at Six Flags Gurnee. That one SUCKS. 
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Probably not. 

THE HAVES:

Have you ever been on a plane?: Yes
Have you ever asked someone out?: yep!
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yes
Have you ever painted your nails?: Durrrrr
THE WHATS:

What is the temperature outside? coldish?.
What radio station do you listen to?: NPR
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Subway
What was the last thing you bought?: Cheetos, nail polish stickers, a sugar free Arnie Palmer, Horizon vanilla milk for kiddo. 
What was the last thing on TV you watched?: The Simpsons

THE WHOS:

Who was the last person you IM'd? Um...I don't remember....
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Family
Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Brian

CRYING SECTION:

Ever really cried your heart out?: Many times
Ever cried yourself to sleep?:I usually finish before I fall asleep.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Yes.
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yes.
Do you cry when you get an injury?: I usually just curse and stomp my feet. Although I did cry while in labor. 
Do certain songs make you cry?: Regina Spektor's No One's Laughing at God made me cry yesterday
LOVE SECTION.

How many times have you had your heart broken?: Twice. Fuckers. 
What is your current hair color?: Multi-tonal brown, but soon it is going to be multi tonal RED with light pink highlights. YEAH
Current piercings: Ears. Nose. 
Have any tattoos?: No, but I WANT ONE
Eye color?: blue

IN A BOY/GIRL:

Favorite eye color: Green with gold flecks. Brian has really beautiful eyes
Short or long hair: Shortish
Height?: Me plus an inch
Best clothing: Jeans that aren't falling apart and a rumpled button-down over a cool t-shirt. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

Been to jail: nope
Mooned someone: No, but I have been in the car when my husband and his brother mooned their entire family. 
Ran away from home: more than once
Laughed so hard you cried: YEP
Cried in school: yep!
Thrown up in a store: no
Is there something really stupid that you still laugh at today?: stupid things are the best to laugh at. 
THIS OR THAT:

Pepsi or Coke: coke zero
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendy's. 
Single or Group Dates: Single
Chocolate or Vanilla: Both. 
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries-blueberries are gross
Meat or Veggies: Both
TV or Movie: both
Guitar or Drums: Drums!! I can't play guitar, but Milo thinks I can. 
Adidas or Nike: Adidas because of Run DMC (totally stole your answer, Amanda)
Chinese or Mexican: Also both
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Ew to both. 
Cake or Pie: Pie. For shizzle. 
MTV or VH1: VH1.

On A Roll!!!

At the risk of jinxing myself:


I won TWO giveaways on TWO separate blogs I read (links and photos to come)
Total score on the Sally Hansen Nail Polish Sticker Dealies


AND
My baby turns THREE on Sunday!!!
AND
I GOT A RAISE AT WORK!!! (and sort of a promotionish). If any of my co-workers read this-thank you so much for your support. Totes love you. 

Fishnet like WHAAAAT

 Fun with photo booth

MORE FUN!!!!

Ten on Wednesday!!!

I was a little busy yesterday so this totally slipped my mind. Better late than never, yeah?


1. How did your parents decide on your name? 
This is an interesting story: My parents had a baby girl named Hilary Lynn. She was premature and her lungs were not developed enough for her to breathe on her own (technology has advanced a LOT in the past 30 years-nowadays she may have lived), and so her life was cut very short. Like, one day. 
Naturally this devastated my parents. My mom became pregnant with me almost a year later, and when I was born as a (very) large, healthy baby (nearly ten pounds with a full head of black hair), they were thrilled. 
Althea means healer in Greek. I am sure you can see why it was appropriate. 
This story brings tears to my eyes each time I tell it. It has created a very special place in my heart for my parents (I know, duh, right? But I think you get it) and for Hilary-whom I cannot wait to meet in Heaven. I always wanted a big sister. 
What I enjoy about my name is the questions I get when I introduce myself:
'Oh, so you're Greek..' (nope!)
'Oh, so your parents were Deadheads!' (its a really amazing Grateful Dead song. But nope!)
Or people generally assume that (if we are introduced through email or telephone) that I am black. Which I sometimes think I am. On the inside, that is. Haha.
2. Do your initials (First, Middle, Last) spell out anything fun/funny?
AJS...ah nope!!!! SAJ, JAS...nah I got nuthin
3. Did you take your middle name from childhood or did you take your maiden name as your middle name? (If unmarried, what do you plan to do?)
Keeping it from childhood. Thats another interesting story. Again, linked to a dead person.
Also, my maiden name is 11 letters long, with a silent 'y' at the end. Yeah...sorry dad,wasn't sad about losing THAT ONE.
4. Are you or will you name your children thematically (ie. same first letter, all of same origin…)
I think the only theme will be that they will be interesting. With a last name like Smith, we have to. 
5. Did you decide on baby names as a little girl? Did you stick to them or change your mind?
Hah. Oh, hahahaaaa. Nooooo. I never thought I would have kids. 
6. Does your family have any names that have been passed down through generations?
I kind of wish they did, but my extended family's traditions are relatively nonexistent. Boo. 
7. Do you look at the meaning of the name or just the name itself?
Name first, then meaning. See #4
8. Do you name pets with human names (Sally, Henry) or with pet names (Fluffy, Mr. Bo Bo)?
Well, we have two cats, one named Mona and one named Squishface, so, you figure it out. 
9. Are there any names that you have an affinity or dislike for based on a childhood experience/someone you once knew?
Heh, I could say something really mean right now about a person I am mad at. But she has the same name as my sister whom I love to pieces. 
So, no!10. What are some of your favorite names? Why?
This one I will have to decline to answer, as the Mr. and I are not done havin' babies. And we like to keep names a surprise. 

FOR THE RECORD

I stand with Planned Parenthood


Go sign. 

Grownup Stuff!!!

Oh, FRIDAY NIGHT!!!! You were so much fun it should have been illegal. But you were not. 


My darling friends arranged a Girls Night Out for the cool chicks at my old office. My BFF still works there, and we all keep in touch. Well...they do cool stuff and invite me and I attend once in a blue moon.


Nights like these are essential to maintaining the sanity of a SAHM that works outside the hizzy part-time. All work and no play make Homer something something.


First we met up at Lisa's house in Highland Park. 
Here's what I have to say about Highland Park: 
GET SOME MOTHER EFFING STREET LIGHTS!!!! GET SOME BETTER DAMN STREET SIGNS!!!!


And here is what I have to say to Google Maps:
IF YOU WERE A HUMAN BEING I WOULD KICK YOU IN THE FACE!!!!


Moving on. 
We all brought a dish to pass. Mine was low-fat buffalo chicken dip-or as the girls call it: Crack Dip. Because I add crack to it, see??
We all stood around and drank wine (them) and skinny margaritas (me) while catching up. 

Lisa, Eryn, Lauren, Dana, moi, Boo, Michelle, Adrian

Michelle, the best pizza-maker EVER

This is me attempting to go meta by taking a photo of Boo taking a photo of her pizza. 

THEN

We hit up an Irish bar in Highwood for karaoke. I can't even TELL you how long it has been since I've been in a bar. Its been a really damn long time. I forgot how weird and funny and frightening people can be when they get DRUNK. I knew I was driving, so I had quit drinking for about an hour before we left the house. Well, it turned into almost two hours because SOME people like to talk when buzzed. Hee hee. Its cool. 

We get to the bar, I ordered a Jameson on the rocks (which was SO watered down, Bridie McKenna's...shame on you) and watched my lovely buzzed pals dance to karaoke. 

Eryn and I sipped our drinks and laughed our asses off at the song selection-there were groups in there we had never heard of. 

There was a gentleman there who we called Banjo Solo Stonewashed Wrangler Belt Buckle Man who was playing air guitar to EVERY SONG. It was irritating, obvs, so Boo decided to intimidate him into knocking it off. It sort of worked. I don't really think he could help himself. 

I think she dropped something.

Sweet bathroom self portrait. Note me trying to look rough and tough while all the pretty girls have pretty faces. 

TYPICAL. 

I am not a singer. I am more a 'I'll sit here at the bar and watch you all.' kinda girl. 

BUT

We sang the SHIT out of Safety Dance. 

Then I convinced myself that I looked like a lesbian and the girl whose dress I complimented thought I was hitting on her (paranoia). 

I also got freaked out by the crazy-drunk fellow at the bar who told me all he wanted from me was ONE WORD OF TRUTH. 

Yeah. Your mind can do wacky things to you past your bedtime. 

I made sure my bestie got home okay and I FINALLY rolled into my parking lot at THREE AM. 

I am just now (Monday morning at 7:25 am) feeling human again. But it was SO WORTH IT. 

IRL news...

My son is currently now in his toddler bed, and literally everyone else I know is now pregnant again. 

Double-you tee eff.