If it wouldn't be weird/illegal, I would scalp her and wear her hair as my own:
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Boys Are Gross, But I Love Mine
Int. Morning, my house
A 31-year old, overweight, slightly attractive woman walks through a hallway and comes across a crumpled t-shirt on the floor
Althea : "Hey, Milo, why is your new Darth Vader t-shirt on the floor?"
Milo (without looking up from his computer game, and with the tone of someone pointing out something painfully obvious) : "Cause der was POOP on it."
Althea : "Uh, so why was there poop on it? How did that happen?"
Milo : "I don't KNOW MOM!"
Althea : "oh."
--------------------------------
Int. mid-afternoon, my office area
Aforementioned woman walks through her home holding a large baby. She has just changed her shirt because the baby has just puked on it.
Baby is held facing out in the hopes that any further spew will land on the easily wiped floor.
Woman sits at her computer, with baby still in facing-out position.
Baby pukes on her jeans.
Althea : " REALLY?!!??"
------------------------------
A 31-year old, overweight, slightly attractive woman walks through a hallway and comes across a crumpled t-shirt on the floor
Althea : "Hey, Milo, why is your new Darth Vader t-shirt on the floor?"
Milo (without looking up from his computer game, and with the tone of someone pointing out something painfully obvious) : "Cause der was POOP on it."
Althea : "Uh, so why was there poop on it? How did that happen?"
Milo : "I don't KNOW MOM!"
Althea : "oh."
--------------------------------
Int. mid-afternoon, my office area
Aforementioned woman walks through her home holding a large baby. She has just changed her shirt because the baby has just puked on it.
Baby is held facing out in the hopes that any further spew will land on the easily wiped floor.
Woman sits at her computer, with baby still in facing-out position.
Baby pukes on her jeans.
Althea : " REALLY?!!??"
------------------------------
Friday, November 30, 2012
The Battle
In many ways, we do some sort of battle daily. Battle against traffic, against inner demons, against enemies,etc.
I battle with myself. The crummy thing about fighting with yourself is that you don't really ever win.
My recent struggle is with my appearance. I know, I know...vanity is disgusting. But I can't help it. If my appearance doesn't at least approach cute...I feel bad.
I can't fit into ANY of my clothes. I feel as though I don't have time to exercise. Or maybe, I just don't want to do it.
Sometimes the weight of this world seems to be more than I can handle.
It is no coincidence that I am writing this on a Friday morning. Thursdays have been a battlefield for me for some time now. I hate them. My best friend knows this and occasionally sends me (I just got a text from her this moment) a text or an email to cheer me up.
Yesterday (and the day before) was rough. The bad thoughts beat their way through the walls I have built in my mind and came crashing to the forefront.
I know that I should be grateful. For this life. For my wonderful husband. For my incredible family and friends.
And I am.
I often say, "I love you people but I need you to get the hell away from me."
Today my prayer is for strength. Strength to do what I know is right. To NOT eat the rest of the chocolate cake in my fridge. To run to God. To appreciate what I have. To be GRATEFUL for my body-the body that held and nourished two babies. To not detest myself or my situation.
Amen.
I battle with myself. The crummy thing about fighting with yourself is that you don't really ever win.
My recent struggle is with my appearance. I know, I know...vanity is disgusting. But I can't help it. If my appearance doesn't at least approach cute...I feel bad.
I can't fit into ANY of my clothes. I feel as though I don't have time to exercise. Or maybe, I just don't want to do it.
Sometimes the weight of this world seems to be more than I can handle.
It is no coincidence that I am writing this on a Friday morning. Thursdays have been a battlefield for me for some time now. I hate them. My best friend knows this and occasionally sends me (I just got a text from her this moment) a text or an email to cheer me up.
Yesterday (and the day before) was rough. The bad thoughts beat their way through the walls I have built in my mind and came crashing to the forefront.
I know that I should be grateful. For this life. For my wonderful husband. For my incredible family and friends.
And I am.
I often say, "I love you people but I need you to get the hell away from me."
Today my prayer is for strength. Strength to do what I know is right. To NOT eat the rest of the chocolate cake in my fridge. To run to God. To appreciate what I have. To be GRATEFUL for my body-the body that held and nourished two babies. To not detest myself or my situation.
Amen.
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