Numbers and Insecurity

The scale in my bathroom ran out of batteries two months (or so) ago. I have yet to feel the urge to replace it.


But I visit people who own scales that contain fresh batteries. And I stand on these. 


Like yesterday. And I was disappointed by what I saw. For no real reason other than the constant, nagging 'you should be thinner' in my head.


I am not medically overweight. I can fit into my skinny jeans (with muffin top disguised by strategically chosen shirt). I have a husband who is physically attracted to me. I can sprint up the stairs two at a time without feeling like I am dying. 


Here's the problem: I very much enjoy eating good food. At bible study yesterday, I went back for seconds. Because there was this amazing pumpkin cinnamon thing there and all the ladies there are like; grandmothers, and these REALLY good cooks with blueberry kuchen and strudel (danish?) from the Old World Bakery in LZ (SO MOTHERFUCKING GOOD. Yes, it is curse-worthy. SO GOOD. I would kiss the baker on the face. You need to have some. And bring me some.) and fresh donuts and then my mom had this amazing chicken salad and some lady gave me five asiago cheese bagels from PANERA and on and on and on. 


My mouth is literally watering at the thought of it. 
I love food. LOVE IT. 


But for some reason it seems more pious, less gluttonous to eat so sparingly. 
'No, none for me, thank you.'
'This sandwich has 5 points.'
'Nope! I'm full!' (although you are really not)
'Oh, I skipped breakfast today1 TOTALLY forgot about it!'


And with that I am off to go work out because I ate a bunch of crap yesterday. 


I leave you with my newest nail polish purchase. This person wrote  a review with which I totally agree. Plus the photo is better.