Confessions

I live for quemada salsa from Taco Fresco. I put it on my egg in the morning and my nachos at lunch. A pint costs $1.25 (less, with my mall discount). I could eat it on almost anything. 


I am currently doing the same workout video that my friend's mom does. I still hate it. Working out sucks. But being grossly overweight sucks more. In my opinion. 


I am often still tired after my first cup of coffee, but the second one makes me jittery and nauseous. 


I no longer love the cats that live in my house. They fart at me on purpose and vomit on my Christmas tree skirt.


I want Jessica Simpson's hair.


I want Kim Zolciak's wigs. All of the recent ones. Not the early busted ones. 


Rose jam bubbleroon is great but I think it gave me a migraine last night.


I think I am a better writer than most of them on xoJane. 


Housework sucks and is pointless, but I still have to do it.


The above fact makes me want to cry. 


Whining (by children or adults) gives me an involuntary facial tic.


I have given up on keeping my potted herbs alive through the winter, but they are still on my kitchen table. 


I washed my hands with this soap at work the other day and I literally thought I had shit on my hands. Its gross. 


Unpaid work conference calls are stupid. 


I got this because of her because I think she is cute and I secretly want to look like her. But not actually BE like her. She's a little cuckoobananas. 


I have never had a burger with a fried egg on top.


I have never ridden on a motorcycle, and I probably never will. 


I hope that this was amusing for you.