Sunday, September 22, 2013

Conversations With Milo

Int. My Home, early evening

Milo (walking in from the bathroom): Mom, can I play on Cartoon Network dot com, just for a minute?

Me: No, I'm using the computer right now. Ew, your breath smells like poo.

Milo: I FARTED. Can I play on the pleter now?

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Shoes. And humor, I hope.

Really, Michael Kors? REALLY? (oh, he went there)

WHY ALL THE MEANINGLESS BUCKLES? this makes me question the nature of everything. 
Here's a LINK because Macys website wouldn't let me steal anymore pics

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Conversations With Milo

Int. My Home. Mid-afternoon on a cloudy day.

Me: "Let's pick out a movie to watch."

Milo picks out BATMAN meets SCOOBY-DOO. I have seen this movie about eight thousand times. 

Me: " Let's agree on something. I don't want to watch that. No Scooby-Doo or Batman."

Milo: "Mom, you always pick fings I don like, and I not gonna like what you pick."

Me: "Well, lets find something we can agree on. Bedtime Stories?"

Milo(flatly): "No"

Me: "How about scary Simpsons?"

Milo: "No, because that freak me out sometimes."

Me: "Okay, how about Bob's Burgers?"

Milo: "WELL. Someping gonna change my mind it gonna be ice cream.(although in Milo-ese it is pronounced eye freem)My mind finking I wanna watch Scooby-Dooby but if I have some eye freem it mean I gonna be finking what YOU want mama."

Me: "You are an evil genius. I'll get you some ice cream in a second."


Thursday, May 9, 2013

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Just a Little

I've not entirely abandoned this space...

Two small children and a husband and a home to care for takes up a lot of my time. 

Silas has been teething nonstop for months now and does not sleep. He is crawling like a madman and will walk soon. He pulls up to standing. 

Milo has begun learning his numbers and letters. We got him registered for all-day kindergarten at the school I can see from my front porch. 

My husband is leaving for an extended work weekend in Boston on Sunday and will not return until Wednesday. 

If my sister weren't coming to stay with me for a couple nights, I would be very fearful. 

Being in a big house alone after the kids are asleep is a little spooky. 

I just found the baby gleefully unrolling all the toilet paper in the powder room. 

I am sure this is quite obvious, but I am exhausted. My mental and emotional state has manifested itself physically.

The End. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Conversations With Milo

(Overheard) "FETCH, boy!"

Me: Milo, your brother is not a dog.
Milo: I know. I tryna train him like a dog.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Okay. THIS

Will, and should, completely rock your face off.



Saturday, February 23, 2013


Ordinarily when I see something online that irritates me, I just quietly un-follow, block or whatever. 

But today I saw something that offended and insulted me; and I felt compelled to write about it. I won't link to the website or the tweet only because I don't want to give this idiot any more attention than she already gets. 

I know some women choose not to have kids. Years ago, I thought I was one of them. 

Childbirth is scary, and it jacks up your body. In unimaginable ways. It is painful, emotional and terrifying. 


It is also empowering, liberating, and beautiful.

When some skinny bitch on Twitter reads a joke article about the 10 scary things no one tells you about childbirth and then says she wishes she hadn't clicked because THE HORROR...I get offended and insulted. 

I know I piss and moan a lot about my place in life right now. It isn't what I anticipated or expected for my life. But I get to raise my children the way my husband I and see fit. I am BLESSED to have my kids. 

I am BLESSED to have stretch marks and an acceptance of my body that I would NOT have gained had I not carried two children to term. 

Hard milk-filled boobs and messed up girly bits are TEMPORARY. Post-partum depression can be treated. Wanting to kill your husband is...well...normal sometimes. The love and the future I create with and for my kids is FOREVER. 

So, GFY, you childless moron. I won't be following you or reading your stupid blog anymore. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Conversations WIth Milo

My house. 

Milo is in the powder room, dropping a deuce. I am on the computer.

He exits said bathroom. 

Me: "Milo, where are you?"

Milo: "In da bafroom mommeee."

Me: "What are you DOING?"

Milo(grunting): "I POOPIN"

Milo comes downstairs, sans pants.

Milo: "I pooped EVERYWHERE."

Me (fearful): "What do you mean?!"

Milo: "I pooped in ALL da bafrooms."

Me: "Even mine?WHY???"

Milo: "Ahcause....I just...fink it was...I hadda get ALLLLL da poop out. And I flush ALL the potties."

Me: "Well, honey, you know...when you go poop on the potty you stay on the same one until all the poop comes out."

Milo: "oh. okay."


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Conversations With Milo

Int. My kitchen. Day.

Me: "WHATDOYOUTHINKYOUREDOING?" (an attempt to startle my son, who is opening and closing the freezer door)

Milo: " I tryin to freeze them."

Me: "Who? Trying to freeze who?"

Milo: " My guys. My Star Wars guys. "

(these guys are made of plastic)

Me: " That...doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Month of Letters

Who's with me??!!

Morning Conversation With Milo

Me: Hey , you snore.

Milo: Yeah, that's how I talk when I'm dreaming.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Conversations With Milo at 6 am

Milo: I saw something spooky in my room ,so I wanted to come be with you.

Me: What did you see that was spooky?

Milo: A green light, and I heard a voice

Me (trying to unconvince myself that my house is haunted): What did the voice say? Did you see anyone:

Milo (trembling and snuggling still further into my arms): well, I don't remember, but it was spooky. It was a man. (getting less freaked out) In CARBONITE! It was Han Solo. Him was in carbonite in my room by the door. 

Me: oh yeah? Well sometimes in the dark things are spooky but in the daytime they are not really spooky.

Milo: Mommy, can we keep him? Han Solo in carbonite?

Me: yes, Milo. If Han Solo is frozen in carbonite in your room; yes, we can keep him. 

Milo goes upstairs. Returns disappointed. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Fire and Ice

There was some crazy ass fire in Chicago this week. Like...yesterday I think.

Plus it was hella cold. Check it out:

These photos are incredible. Beautiful. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Les Cheveux

Today is the first day my hair felt long!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


Yes, the dinner leftovers are not put away. The dishes are still sitting in the sink. 


The baby is asleep in his crib (for now...yeesh), and the DH and the big kid are playing LOTR for xBox. 

So I am having a vodka drink (my first since Saturday) and messing around online. 

I'm on Twitter now.

That's about the depth and breadth of my commitment to my online presence at the moment.


Help me.