Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Okay. THIS

Will, and should, completely rock your face off.



Saturday, February 23, 2013


Ordinarily when I see something online that irritates me, I just quietly un-follow, block or whatever. 

But today I saw something that offended and insulted me; and I felt compelled to write about it. I won't link to the website or the tweet only because I don't want to give this idiot any more attention than she already gets. 

I know some women choose not to have kids. Years ago, I thought I was one of them. 

Childbirth is scary, and it jacks up your body. In unimaginable ways. It is painful, emotional and terrifying. 


It is also empowering, liberating, and beautiful.

When some skinny bitch on Twitter reads a joke article about the 10 scary things no one tells you about childbirth and then says she wishes she hadn't clicked because THE HORROR...I get offended and insulted. 

I know I piss and moan a lot about my place in life right now. It isn't what I anticipated or expected for my life. But I get to raise my children the way my husband I and see fit. I am BLESSED to have my kids. 

I am BLESSED to have stretch marks and an acceptance of my body that I would NOT have gained had I not carried two children to term. 

Hard milk-filled boobs and messed up girly bits are TEMPORARY. Post-partum depression can be treated. Wanting to kill your husband is...well...normal sometimes. The love and the future I create with and for my kids is FOREVER. 

So, GFY, you childless moron. I won't be following you or reading your stupid blog anymore. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Conversations WIth Milo

My house. 

Milo is in the powder room, dropping a deuce. I am on the computer.

He exits said bathroom. 

Me: "Milo, where are you?"

Milo: "In da bafroom mommeee."

Me: "What are you DOING?"

Milo(grunting): "I POOPIN"

Milo comes downstairs, sans pants.

Milo: "I pooped EVERYWHERE."

Me (fearful): "What do you mean?!"

Milo: "I pooped in ALL da bafrooms."

Me: "Even mine?WHY???"

Milo: "Ahcause....I just...fink it was...I hadda get ALLLLL da poop out. And I flush ALL the potties."

Me: "Well, honey, you know...when you go poop on the potty you stay on the same one until all the poop comes out."

Milo: "oh. okay."


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Conversations With Milo

Int. My kitchen. Day.

Me: "WHATDOYOUTHINKYOUREDOING?" (an attempt to startle my son, who is opening and closing the freezer door)

Milo: " I tryin to freeze them."

Me: "Who? Trying to freeze who?"

Milo: " My guys. My Star Wars guys. "

(these guys are made of plastic)

Me: " That...doesn't make a whole lot of sense."