Friday, December 31, 2010

I Leave You and 2010 With This:

When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.

-Thich Nhat Hanh (with thanks to Mandy Closs Dalrymple)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas...

blah blah blah blah blaaaahhhh...tell me what you'll bring to me...tell me if you caaaaan...

well....I will bring you a fat kitty, a Lightning McQueen pillow, and other joyful material things...


All the pics from Christmas morning are blurry. Motion. 

There was candy in there!!!!

Santa and Mommy and Daddy were very generous to the little one. 
At the risk of sounding cliche; celebrating Christmas with a little kid of your own is just out of this fuckin world. I mean....I LOVE gifts. LOVE THEM. Love to give them, love to get them...pretty sure they are my love language. 
And seeing the fruit of my loins (haha) beam with joy at the badass stuff he got makes my heart explode. With EMOTION. 
This particular Christmas didn't feel too Christian,  and for that I am a little regretful. I worked A LOT this holiday season-well a lot for me. And I think I felt like there was no time for church, or I was just too damn exhausted to go. As the matriarch of my family, I want to incorporate the actual reason behind the season. 
Hm, maybe I should find a way to incorporate the Yule traditions as well. Yeah-I celebrate Christ's birth (wooo!!!) but there are OTHER reasons for the holiday too...
The all-too-reflecty part of me is  now making the effort to use the generosity. The gifts...
Like...does anyone need anything hot glued? Cause I TOTALLY got a hot glue gun for Christmas. 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

On The Way Home

We left our friends in the Dells and headed home last Wednesday. Mr. Smith had seen a billboard for some restaurant where your food is brought to you by a train. 
Now-this is just the sort of thing that my former self would have dismissed as cheesy. Unless I went in there with a girlfriend and drank a lot of beer. 

I am no longer my former self. 

This was the coolest damn place ever. They have homemade POP, dudes!!!! And not just root beer! Grape AND ORANGE too!!!!!
The interior of the place was incredible. Taxidermied prairie animals, cowboy boots, FAKE COWBOYS...antler chandeliers, soaring log was dope. 
No, I didn't take any photos of these beautiful things. 
waiting for the train
There were so very many interesting things on the walls. I enjoyed the illustrated lists of the illustrious folks that had attended Wild Bill's show. Like...HRH the Queen of England. 
I friggen love cowboys. So badass. 
here it comes!!!!

it brought us HATS

and waffle fries!

and...and BUBBLES!!!!!!

holy shit greatest time EVER!!!!

the train was stopped by some little kid that kept trying to eat the bubbles. pretty hilar. 

our sweet server kept trying to get a photo of us with the train

I like her facial expression. Cowgirls are the dopest. 
So...this place. Love it. The food was great-their barbecue sauces especially. Mr. Smith had this crazy burger with pulled pork and bacon ON IT...incredible. 
And now I have to go work out because I have literally put back on all the weight I lost. 
The cookies are going somewhere else today. NOT in my tummy. I need to STOP listening to the voice in my head that says, 'Have a cookie.'

Monday, December 27, 2010

Our Pre-Christmas Getaway

The last real vacation that the Mr. and I took was to Punta Cana before we were married. 
This year we got a chance to go to an indoor waterpark and resort with my bestie and her family. 
They are like family to us,we love them. And I THINK they love us. 
SO...we stayed at Kalahari Resort in the Dells. I really have to say that they do it up rather nicely. The theme of the resort is 'African Safari', which is different. They had tiger cubs in the lobby (which I am pretty morally opposed to, but I don't know the whole story), African fabric on the walls, and a giant elephant over the fireplace. 
I am a bad blogger and do not have photos of any of this. I really just wanted to relax and have fun with my family. Go look on the website. 
In addition to the indoor water park, the resort had go-karts, a ropes course, a ferris wheel AND an arcade. 
The Frenches tried the ropes course. Not as easy as it looks. 
I did not try the ropes course, even though I said I would. Big liar. 
I swear I thought I took more photos, but I totally didn't. Bah. 
We even had a grownups night where I got to wear high heels! We left the kids up in the room and went for dinner and drinks. THEN the ADULTS got to play in the water park! We went on water slides with our spouses and then sank into the hot tub. UH MAZ ING.
Milo was not such a huge fan of the water. Granted it was really loud and big in there. We took him on the lazy river and he screamed the ENTIRE time. AH well. There's always next year :)
The view out my window. Farmland. Snow. Mostly flat. That's Wisconsin.

My driver. 

We are licensed to carry living cargo. 

Milo and this little girl spoke the same language. This photo was taken inside the only game I got into at the arcade. You swam around and shot those guns at sea creatures. I totally WASTED the Kraken! YEAH! Woo woooo!!!

Mr. Smith REALLY got into this racecar game. He looks all concentratey in all the photos I got. Milo is actually not watching the cars on the TRACK, he is watching the screen displaying the cars on the track. 

Speaking of Milo, he is calling for me. I KNOW that he has the ability to get out of that crib. He just won't. I think he's a little more cautious than he lets on.
I also have to go do some sort of fitness DVD because I SO have not been disciplined this week. There will be more fun anecdotes and adorable photographs to come. 
Just what brings you here...heh heh. Heh. 

Thursday, December 23, 2010


Yes, I realize that I have been writing blog posts about promising to write blog posts. 
And I WILL. I promise. 

We just came back from an amazing three-day getaway with my best friend and her family.  We have basically adopted each other. 

So...I have tons of laundry to do (thanks for helping last night hunney) and a crapload of grocery shopping. Milo will be bribed into a good mood throughout the THREE stores I need to get to today. 

This made me smile today. 
In my rushrushrush to 'get things done' and not think about the unpleasant side of Christmas, it is nice to see how other families celebrate the season.

Peace out. I'm going to go try and keep my brain inside my head. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

But, Was It the Wind?

These past few weeks have been busy for me with my paying gig. I am part-time, and the shifts I work are always closing ones. 
Which doesn't really become an issue in the least until the mall goes to holidays hours to accommodate who-all-I-don't-know.
Then I'm not home until well after midnight. Which is past my bedtime and well past my husband's. 

Usually when I get home, I crawl right into bed. My husband has warmed it nicely, and there are flannel sheets. My body is crying for rest.
But my brain?
Hah. No. My brain says that I am finally done processing information for the day and that is confusing. My brain says that I need to wind down with a book or some On Demand. 
So I try to think about things to get me to fall asleep. Sometimes I tell myself bedtime stories, other times I just let my brain do its thing while I try to relax my face. 
I have a face I make. Like, all the time. Its weird. Tension, perhaps. 
Last night there were sounds of an owl coming in through my crappy bedroom window. 
And I thought about owls. I respect them. Predatory birds are my favorite. I really do think my spirit animal is a hawk. 
But owls are like the schoolteachers of (my version of) the bird world. 
And if you think it is odd that I have an imaginary personified version of the bird world, well can go ahead and go fu*k yourself. (name that movie)
Yep, owls. 
Love them.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Didn't Have to Use My AK was a good day...

Do you know that I cannot think one of those phrases without immediately thinking the other?

Oh, Ice Cube, how you've changed. 

I just spelled tryptophan correctly without assistance. Good omen.
Staying as gangsta as possible,

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

What I Thought

....and what really happened were two entirely different things...
I stopped into my favorite thrift store to find a something for my bestie's Christmas gift. In this particular shop you have to walk past the shoes to get to housewares. (thrift store housewares are my favorite. more so than clothes, i think)
I never really look too closely at the shoes, mostly because most of them SUCK at that particular shop-Wings on Higgins in Schaumburg if anyone wants to hit it up. 
But this time I saw these:

And I knew they were special. My initial thoughts were: 'Those look cool, nice stitching. I might be able to wear those to work.'
Then as I got closer I noticed the bumped-up toe and the heart-shaped heel. 
Could they be?
Yes-they were John Fluevog boots in VERY near-mint condition. 
I tried them on quickly. I crammed my foot in, thinking that if they didn't fit, I would either give them as a Christmas gift or sell them. 
Well,they do not fit (me or any of the gals I would've gifted these to), and my hopes of selling these for some large-ish profit (I am a greedy person, let's be honest)
are somewhat dashed by the shitty economy. 
And selling them for a teeny profit only makes me have to think about what my time is worth and that just makes me depressed. 
Check out these Etsy shops! These people know how much their time is worth!
If I could afford a number of these wigs, I would be ALL OVER THAT. 
Saw these at Renegade. GIFTS!!!
And my mommy's shop-of course. 

Have a sweet-ass day, interweb friends. Pray that I can fix my sewing machine by myself today. 

Friday, December 10, 2010

I'm Still Here

No, I've not pulled a Joaquin Phoenix and begun a rap career. 

I've just been working a LOT. Holiday mall hours suck. That's all I'm going to say. 

Will hopefully have a gifty post or a link roundup here for you someday. 


There is now another cup of instant Folgers calling my name.  

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hello? Santa? You there?

I have been a very good girl this year. 
Can you please stash this somewhere on your sleigh?

Unique Vintage.I also love their swimsuits, which I will buy once I am a rich lady. 

These Days

Pretend Nico just sang that title melancholily into your ear. 

I found the most incredible noodles yesterday, look:

Long fusilli (which always makes me think of Kramer) with this incredibly sad girl on the bag. 
Sad, or her legs cramped up from squatting behind those tomatoes?

Oh yeah, AND...
The Smiths are going on vacation!!!
Not right NOW. But soon. And to a waterpark! In the winter! 
I have wanted to do that since I moved to MN and would drive past the Dells on my trips home. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010


I do NOT see well without a visual aid of some kind. Usually glasses or contacts, with the occasional monocle. Or my hands held up in front like binocs.

ANYHOO. I'm doin' the lotion after shower thing. I've been recently applying said lotion to my feetal areas as well. So, if you start at the feet and work your way up; and if your bathroom rug has a flat weave and crap on it...said crap will stick to your feet and hands when applying said lotion. 

(don't get me wrong here, my bathroom isn't GROSS, but there's the inevitable minuscule crap on the floor)

aNYHOO. I'm doin' the after-shower lotion thing - and I'm wiping the minuscule crap onto a hand towel (that I will WASH) and, in my blindness, I see...

a friggen piece of tinsel from the obnoxious pink wreath. that is DOWNstairs on the FRONT door. 


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

If I Ever Get Super Motivated

Or if someone I love reproduces...I am SO MAKING THIS

Wanty, and Havesie

Don't get me wrong, I am trying to go as handmade as possible this year, but I really think I could have these. Size 9 please. They are on sale online for WAY cheaper than in the store. 

I can say these things because I know that you aren't all going to rush out and buy these boots, thus making them unattainable for me. 


NARS Cosmetics are some of my favorite things. They just do color SO WELL. 
Their Orgasm blush is truly an amazing thing. I've had mine for a million years (gross?) and will SO replace it if it ever becomes depleted. 
A dear friend gave me an early Chrimas (that's what she calls it) present of NARS Nail polish in Schiap. It is the pinkest of shocking pink pinksersons.
Yes. If I had cute hands or fingers I would snap a photo, but you can just Google it because I have ugly hands. 

Now I am going to go try and attempt to hope to half-assedly do something to get it crossed off my to do list. 

Keeping my expectations LOW. 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Did you think I fell off the planet? Did you think I was tooling around the universe with Zaphod Beeblebrox?


Just kiddin'. I know you didn't. It's all good. I was totes busy. 

We spent Thanksgiving with my husband's family and attended a wedding the following Saturday. Leaving the kid with his cousins at Nana and Papa's house. 

First overnight away from home for him. And me. And Brian. 

I think, in Milo's mind, it was the best weekend ever. He had kids to play with EVERY DAY. Plus...well you know how it goes at Nana's house. What happens there stays there and whatnot-haha. 

Massive thanks to my in-laws for all pitching in to keep Milo alive and happy. 
As a thank-you to them, and as a gift to you all; I present this photo of Milo with his cousins. 
 How much do you love it when you tell three kids to make funny faces and they ALL MAKE A REALLY FUNNY FACE?! Love it. 

We attended the wedding of a friend at the divinely stunning Cultural Center at the old Public Library in the city. I was pretty focused on socializing and not on taking photos, so most of them are crap, but trust me-the surroundings were just beautiful.
At the reception we were seated with our friends under a mosaic dome with the names of poets going across the arch we were sitting under. 
That's a fairly wretched description and I'll work on it. But let's just agree that it was beautiful. 
 We stood under this and had drinks after the ceremony. Its really hard to take a photo of the ceiling while you are standing on a tile floor in four-inch heels and a short dress. 
So chic. 
At some point during the cocktail hour I asked Dana if my eye makeup was too much. We had applied our faces in her hotel room and the lighting was REDONK. So bad. I kept putting blush on, and that's sometimes not good. 
I was a little self conscious of the gilded eyeshadow up to my eyebrows and the black eyeliner all over the place. 
My best friend just said, 
'Althea. You wanted to dye your hair PINK. No, your EYE MAKEUP looks just fine.'
Hah. She's funny. And right. 

Yeah, I know. This photo is terrible. It was freezing out, but we all drunkenly wanted cigarettes. Notice how I am easily the giantess in the group. Fricken...short people...
I do happen to really like the chicks in this photo. Good people, them. Really good. 
 Also, I am not trying to do anything dirty to the woman on the left. I had Brian's jacket on and she snuggled in. 
We all had a spectacular weekend. Milo had a blast and so did his parents. 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Total Confession

We have two cats. Yes. 
These cats are incredibly chill. They do not tear shit up too badly and they put up with Mr. No rather well. 
One cat belonged to Mr. Smith before we started dating. The other one we got as a couple to keep the first one company. 

We enjoyed watching them play together. Scampering around and all that. Snuggling with us. Trying to drink the milk out of your cereal bowl when you weren't looking. 

Cute. Adorable. Loving. Purring. Aw. 

But then. 
We had Mr. No (who not known as Mr No at the time). 
And I swear to you in the spirit of love and kindness and tranquility and whatever else....I came home with that baby and I had NO room left in my heart for those cats. 


Yes-one of them DID scarf down a bunch of cat food and then puke it up in front of me and then EAT IT BACK DOWN. Though, it was hardly digested. And we HAD been gone for 3 days. Having a baby and shit. 

I remember sitting there thinking something evil. Don't recall what it was exactly.
And now all I see is the litter everywhere and the cat hair everywhere and they want ATTENTION constantly. Food constantly. Constant litter box to scoop. 

What the fuck is my fucking problem??? 
Guh. I'm gonna go work out now. Do some yoga meltdown and whatnot. 

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I wouldn't say I am freaking out over gifts or anything like that. I am going to try and keep family drama AWAY this year. heh. 

Yesterday something terrible happened. Milo lost his woo woo robot. 
This one. Shortly after this photo was taken we went to Target. And now it is gone. I feel SO BAD. He's been asking for it so I know he doesn't get that he left it at Target. 
I know that I'm responsible, but it is kind of hard to grocery shop and keep an eye on him at the same time-since he asks to walk EVERY time and doesn't want to ride in the cart. 

Can you tell I am kinda proud of my ripped arms?
Yesterday before the ill-fated Target trip.
 Purpley dress thing from some clearance rack. 
Old Navy Tank
Joes Jeans that are SO DYING. 
Warm vest from Kohls

 I SO thought my basil plant was deadski. 
But I think the chives are slowly biting the dust. We'll see how these make it through the winter. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

19 on 19th

In the spirit of the season, I should have been doling out interesting daily posts and getting all kids of crafty. Cleaning my house and baking the type of cookies one puts into a tin. 

But I haven't. Obviously. 

Allow me to begin with something that I have enjoyed seeing on others' blogs. I steal ALL my ideas. 

19 Things I Am Thankful For On November 19th:

1. my salvation-obvs this needs to be #1
2. my husband and son and the fact that I am able to make a home for them.
3. health, my own and of those around me
4. sitting at the desk with a few toes of my bare right foot resting on the heating vent until they get TOO warm
5. warm baths
6. borrowing vanilla from my neighbor
7. workout dvds
8. quiet mornings
9. the job that pays me
10.the feeling of not being sick or pukey anymore
11.quiet afternoons, I think
13.Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
14.sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
15.the intertubes coffee in the morning although I DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT NOW I NEED TO GO GET SOME
17.Milo's robot dance

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Truth in Daily Life

I am lucky to own a Keurig coffee maker. It is incredibly digital and impressive.
So much so; that ,as the water is heating and I am selecting one of those terribly wasteful, expensive and delicious cups to brew; the digital and impressive display reads:


And my precaffienated self thinks, "yeah. totally."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Good Wear Days Wheneves Week Whateves

I've got Halloween photos to post also, but I'd rather get these up since I am utterly self-centered. 
But really.
Hair Doctor Hair Mask. BOOO!

Knot Wrap from Lush
Shirt: Limited

Lippy: MAC GIrl About TOwn. 

Supersweet Ring: Forever 21 accessory store in my mall. That store is CRACK. Cause everything is like five bucks. 

Dolman sleeve sweater from Limited
Earl Jeans

Another shot of that amazing ring. 

Dress: Downeast Basics
Reversible Bag: 1154 Lill Studio

Other side of bag

Poufy hair!!!
Necklace from Ebay 600 years ago
I was on my way to a bridal shower

Wing earrings from someplace I forget...I've never actually worn them before that night. My hair was never the right length.
Betsey Johnson coat (I really forgot what I have on under this, hehe)
Ms. Woolf is one of those internet presences that I felt an instant connection with.
OH YEAH, and she does amazing giveaways. One of which I was blessed enough to win!
I will so completely link the hell out of this post but now I have to get dressed and take the kid to the doc. He's rashy and coughing. Going to attempt to take his temp. Rectally. Yeah. Pray for me.