Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Real Deal

Today is Milo's first REAL day of school. Two hours ALL to myself!!!

I am going to purchase a fitness membership and FORCE myself to do some cardio on school days. 

Let's all pray that he does really well today!!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Go read this...


Ah, me. Those girls are hilars. 

And Salma Hayek is effortlessly ladylike and naturally gorgeous. She's a hair idol of mine.

Rentrée des classes

How I love Google Translate. 

Milo is looking forward to making new friends and learning to share.
I am looking forward to a potential $14/month gym membership to use while he's in school. 
Milo is looking forward to using his backpack.
I am looking forward to having a preschooler-I can actually feel myself getting giddy remembering my vague memories of preschool: learning to make a ball out of play dough, painting my name and wanting to make the T 'big like Mr. T', being scared of the guy in parachute pants and then finding out he was super-nice....

So fun. I can't wait for relationships to bloom. The parents and caregivers all seem very caring and nice. I keep telling myself I belong here *chuckle*. 

Friday, August 26, 2011

How Things Change

I remember Fridays as a much younger excuse to leave work a little early...a reason to stay up late...a work-free weekend to look forward to.

Fridays are much different now. Usually by the end of the week, I am a rubber band-stretched as far as I can go without snapping. Except that I sometimes do snap. By Friday I usually feel totally under-appreciated and exhausted. And I usually have to suppress my urge to pout all evening so that I can have a happy face while I'm at work. 

This week was full of adventures...we rode Thomas the Tank Engine on Saturday, I had skincare training all day in Chicago on Sunday and on Monday we went to the Museum of Science and Industry. Tuesday was spent running errands, Wednesday was a birthday party (for five 13-year old girls) at work and Thursday was Milo's preschool orientation. 

Which brings us to Friday. Rubber-Band Friday,  I need to do a hair mask and wax my eyebrows. I also need to post photos for my family and return books to the library. I am actually looking forward to going in to work tonight. For the break. 
This is Milo and me waiting to get onto Thomas. We arrived early and managed to sit out the thunderstorm inside the diner. Milo was unhappy. 

He thought it was TOO LOUD and he did not like it. 

But we ended up having a good time. After riding on Thomas we went to the retail tent and Milo chose some troublesome trucks to bring home. 

Milo at the Museum of Science and Industry. Best museum to bring kids to. I LOVE IT. 

The girl on the right is my friend Sarah, my sister from another mister. She's great fun, but averse to having her picture taken.

Milo drove a harvester. 

He liked it. 

And then we found the trains. We spent the majority of time in the train room. The setup there is amazing. And can you see the FREAKING BOEING 727 HANGING IN THERE??? I was having a tough time comprehending that there was a passenger jet INSIDE A ROOM I WAS IN. 
My mind was blown. 

Here we have Jollyball. It is a Guinness record holder for largest 'flapper machine' in the world. Basically it is a giant pinball machine that you don't play. Some dude built it for some tourism contest in ...Norway (?). Astounding. 

There's a freaking CHEESE ELEVATOR for the ball. 


This was part of the 'About You' display. The more you moved in front of those screens, the harder the people would laugh. 
This is also the section where I SLAUGHTERED Brian AND Sarah at the 'Relax Your Mind' game. Basically I am a Jedi master. 

Milo and I pilot a plane in a wind tunnel. Milo is shouting, 'EVERYBODYS GONNA DIE!!!!'

These balls were floating in columns of air.


It was a fun visit. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Letter to a Stranger

Dear Crazy Man in the Red Car on Route 90, 

I had no idea that my raised 'what're you DOIN' hand gesture would incite such anger within you. I couldn't hear what you were saying as you cut me off twice and made your guido hand gestures to me in your rearview. 
I ignored you as you pulled up next to me at the light , put your window down and started yelling and honking at me. That must have made you mad!You were yelling and I wasn't listening!! OOOOH the frustration of a man ignored!!! I was tempted to give you the finger at that point but that exit ramp is pretty close to my home and I didn't want you following me. 

You honked again as I turned into my neighborhood. I hope you saw that I flipped you off as I was safely in my own subdivision.  Maybe you should look into anger management so you don't get so mad when people give you the palms-upturned gesture. Or get better maps so you don't cut people off. 

Also, please go fuck yourself. 

Very Sincerely, 
A Much Better Driver Than You. 

Yes, Really...

Yesterday evening was a wee bit stressful. My DH decided that the time was right for him to sell his car and get a new one. When he gets an idea in his head there is no way to stop him. He's rather determined in that way. Its usually an admirable quality. 

The timing and location of this deal worked out in such a way that my darling father-in-law had to come over on his way home from work to watch the kiddo so I could go in to work. My FIL is a great guy and always likes the food I make for dinner. least he says he does...

But I was stressed because I know how the Smith men are when they get home from work...they want to relax and I felt guilty that he had to stay and babysit. 

SO I went in to work and the car thing worked out. I got home early because I closed with a fast closer (love her) and had time to test drive the new car and hear my DH's story of triumph over the car salesmen. Seriously...he's REALLY good at it. 

We had a cocktail and finished watching The Fighter (AMAZING film). Then went to bed. 
Then it happened. I took a melatonin and for some reason the migraine forced me to drift up through the sea of natural sleep aid so that I could stumble downstairs for a triple dose of acetaminophen. Migraines fucking suck. Chronic sufferers have all the sympathy I can muster. 
I can feel the throbbing haunting me gently behind my eyes. 

While watching the final fight scene in the movie last night, I convinced myself I could be a really good boxer. I have the suppressed rage that I think it would take to punch someone in the face multiple times. 
I told my DH I would make a good fighter and he says, 'You bruise too easily...your face would get all smashed up...'
I hugged him and said, 'Are you trying to say I'm too pretty to fight?'
'Yeah hunney...yeah.'
And that, my friends is the poetry of marriage. 
Now I need to drive north for my last weekly visit with mumzie. Then we have at all drive north AGAIN later so we can finish this car exchange. 
THEN our next step is figuring out what the hell to do with this condo. Anyone want to rent a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom place in Schaumburg with granite floors, countertops and stainless steel appliances? 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A Letter To a Body Part

Dear Underarms, 

Both of you...I am sorry for whatever I have done to mortally offend you and cause you to become red and irritated. I cleanse you with Lush shower gel, shave you with Dirty shaving cream, (attempt to) deodorize you with natural , aluminum-free Lush deos. 

And yet you rebel. You stink and look burned. People say you cannot smell your own body odor...mine must be a special musk because I so can smell myself. 

Please come correct, dear pits. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I need you to smell not gross and be somewhat hairless. I am sorry for that waxing debacle. I will never do it again. 

Get it together. Please. For the sake of us all. 

the brain behind all this

Giveaway at Sometimes Sweet!!!

So, I have no tattoos, but I love them on other people. I randomly stumbled upon this gal's website, and today she is hosting a giveaway!!

Everyone knows I need more shoes...soo...


Go check out her site, she's really cute. 


Today I will try to be the change I wish to see. 

Today I will give this life my all. 

Today I will not yell or lose my temper. 

Today I will be a loving person. 

Today I will not give myself over to negative thoughts. 

Today I will fix my favorite orange purse. 

Today I will be disciplined in my eating habits.

Today I will clean a windowsill. 

Tomorrow, who knows. But today, right now is all I have. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Yesterday we went to the Brookfield Zoo and did the Butterfly House. 
To describe it as magical would not do it justice. 

And of course we visited the polar bear. I actually got lost inside the bear exhibit. It was a little terrifying. Not because I am afraid of bears, but because crowds make me twitchy. 
Milo REALLY wanted a butterfly to land of him, but it didn't happen. Hey-for four bucks we can go try another day. 
I am off to get dressed and to go to Target for some Easy Mac and something coral. Not sure what. But something. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

My Two Current Role Models


Wake Up and Get Real


Went to the wedding of two friends on Saturday. Then venue was beautiful, and we had a great time. 

I have one decent photo from the reception because I was chiefly concerned with drinking beer and dancing. 

The woman on the left was walking by and saw us mugging for our husbands. Having a stellar sense of humor, she jumped into the photo as a joke. Then Dana pulled her back in. Pretty funny. The three of us basically had these grins plastered on our faces all night. Good times. 
And major thanks to my best sisters ever for watching the kiddo.

If you have not seen this video yet, go watch it now. 

Also, I am not pregnant. Sad face, but now I can keep track whereas before I was just confused. 

Also (again), I hate it when I open my bedroom window in the morning JUST in time for the scent of fresh dogshit to waft its way up to the third floor. Gross. 


hhh,g,gmgn  ,rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp (that was from Milo)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Biba Inspiration

Things like this make me think I was born in the wrong decade...

Sourced from Google Images
I am attending a wedding tomorrow. My dress is a drapey gauzey wrap from Betsey. I am intending to style it much like the above photos. Crazy messy hair, long necklace, and as many bracelets as I can pile on. 
I think I need a drugstore run for fake eyelashes and curlers for my hair. 
Also, go watch this video. STUNNING.