Saturday, April 30, 2011

Four Less Than Before

Teeth, that is...

Yesterday morning my lovely sister came over to watch my lovely child while my lovely husband drove me to my lovely oral surgeon to get ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth pulled. 

General anesthesia is AWESOME. I felt like the surgery literally took five minutes. And I did open my eyes during. My thought was...'Man, everything is bloody. I wonder why they aren't worried about it. I hope they clean that up.'

They weren't worried because they weren't FINISHED. Durrr. 

I woke up a little loopy. I kept trying to walk alone, and the nurse and my husband were all like, 'Um, yeah you better slow down.'

When I arrived home, my sister began to giggle at my swollen, gauze-stuffed face. Which made me giggle. Which caused my mouth to fill with blood. Which made my sister laugh harder. 
Don't get me wrong, she's not a cruel person. In the least. She just giggles infectiously. 
SO here I am, one day post-op. Stitches and swollen face. And eyebrows that need waxing, but oh well. 
And random cat on bed behind. 
Soup for the next few days. I have decided that Red Pepper is a perfectly acceptable breakfast dish made better with goat cheese. And that instant mashed potatoes mixed into boxed french onion soup is pretty damn good. 
Now I am going to wear leggings as pants and lounge around while I wait for my bestie and her daughter to arrive. I'm watching (and letting Milo watch) entirely too much TV.
And you know what?!?! THAT IS OKAY!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Some Days I Have The Best Job Ever

Half-hour-long pillow fights with a toddler that refuses clothes. 
Staying in my jammies all day.
Watching the kiddo march along with me to my old-lady workout. 
Fun with photo-booth:

Pandora as loud as it gets.

Beats wearing a suit and commuting.


Monday, April 25, 2011


Yesterday we celebrated Easter with my husband's parents and grandparents.
My back was sore and stiff from helping my mother on an adventure the day before. Thank you, husband for watching the child that day-I love you more.  
My left eye kept watering and I was very sneezy. Thankfully, though, not entirely wheezy. 
Last night I went to bed early because the Blackhawks were on and I was bored. They won. Yay. 
Today I am less stiff and hopefully not sick. Today I will try and convince my PCP to give me a four-day dose of antibiotics. Because this is the worst week EVER to get sick. 
Friday I go to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled from my head. And I'm pretty sure the oral surgeon won't do it if I am sick.
SEE? Worst. Week. Ever. 
Blues Brothers Charms in the Swarvoski Store Window
To be sick, that is. 
For now it is business as usual. Take the kid to class. Eat a million clementines and pray that whatever this is infecting my head will go AWAY BY FRIDAY. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

They Might Have Something and Puddle Jumping

Some folks have been going on about Mercury being in retrograde.
Now, I believe not everything I read; HOWEVER I do think that planets and heavenly bodies have some effect on our little lives down here on our dirtball. 
No, I don't believe in astrology as a way to tell the future or how your day will pan out. 
BUT...this planet is in retrograde in my sign (aries...yeah). And , unless God has decided to test me, this is the only explanation. a wise woman once told takes intense pressure and heat to make a lump of coal into a diamond, and this is what God wants us to be. 

Until I get some photos from my birthday, I am going to just say this quickly:

I have lusted after one of these ever since I saw one. Nigella has one. My mother told me yesterday that Marilyn Monroe had one. 
So I'm in good company. 
My delightful MIL gave it as a birthday gift. I am thrilled beyond belief. On that same note, I'd like to give my in-laws a shout-out. I really lucked out with them. 
They are always willing to watch Milo and have been beyond generous to us. I am grateful for them every day. 
And now it is time for me to start the nine million loads of laundry I am supposed to do today.
Edited to add these photos of Milo and my feet jumping in some puddles on one of the million rainy days we've had recently. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

No title

I've been meaning to create this amazing post about my birthday; but I am  good enough with neither time management or writing to do something like that. Apparently. 

The fun truly didn't stop for my 30th. Except for one really sh*tty email the day before; my week before and week after were grand. 

My husband has a weird talent.Don't get grossed out. He's REALLY good at buying clothes for me. As in...when he comes home with something he picked out, it generally is really cute. What can I say-he knows me. And he knows that I don't spend the time or money on my appearance that I once did; so he does his best to help in that area. 

Digression-I had purchased a cheap-o full-length mirror in order to showcase all my rad new clothes, but within five minutes of me bringing it inside it was broken. I didn't even get it up the stairs. 

The dear husband also threw a get-together at the house. That had a dual purpose-to celebrate MOI and to try and get a woman for our friend. Any single ladies want to go out with a super-cool dude, LET ME KNOW!!!!
The party was super-fun. People from work came by, which is always nice. Some didn't come and were missed. But I guess you can't be friends with everyone. And I suppose that being 30...I am not supposed to worry about that anymore. 
There is more, but my munchkin just woke up. Time for coffee,snuggles and the morning struggle. Then off to mother's. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

Three Decades

Is how long I have been on this earth. Apparently with age comes wisdom. Or something. 
Here's mine:

Don't expect people to react how you expect them to. Conversely, you can usually expect them to do exactly what you expect. 

What they say about being comfortable with yourself at age 30 is sort of bullshit. I am still crazily insecure. 

Believe in second chances. 

Do things for yourself sometimes. Especially if you have completely changed your lifestyle in the past five years. 

Always be polite. 

It is okay to not respond. In general, silence is a good response, especially if you have a history of putting your foot in your mouth. 

The dotted line represents the last of my wisdom. Some days I feel like that dotted line. 

My darling husband threw a get-together on my actual birthday (Saturday). He got me a red velvet cake from Costco that was freaking scrumptious. There were cocktails and friends and music and laughing!
Another thing I have to say about my husband (he's a really surprising fellow)...the man is GOOD at picking out clothes for me. Like, INSANELY good. I generally always want clothes for gifts. I used to spend a pretty penny on duds and do so no longer.  SO, for any giftworthy event, I want either cash or clothes. 
He got me a really awesome dress WITH POCKETS. Which I promptly hemmed and wore at the party. AND I LOOKED TOTALLY CUTE. (no pics, though. I'm buying a full-length mirror soon) 

My life is so full of blessings, sometimes I need to take a step back and reflect on them. All too easily do we get caught up in the negative aspects of life that slap us in the face continually. 

I have a part-time paying gig that I actually LIKE and am paid pretty well to do. 

I have a husband who is an active father and provides us with a roof over our heads.

I have a healthy, affectionate, hilarious son. 

I have friends and family that love and understand me. 

Tah. Dah. 
Happy two-days-after-my-birthday to all, and to all a good night. 
(its 7 AM, but whatever)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Last Night Brought to You by The Words Holy and Crap.

This post is as much for posterity as it is for the eight people who read this blog. 

I kind of hate the word 'blog'. 

Moving on...last night I got to meet and listen to one of America's great treasures; David Sedaris.
The first book of his I ever read was Me Talk Pretty One Day. I was living in Minneapolis and the book was lent to me by a guy with whom I was slightly more than friends. Mr. Sedaris' writing style immediately endeared him to me.  He managed to be hilarious and heartfelt; nasty and sweet at the same time. Stories of his awkward childhood and his imperfect family have made me laugh out loud time and time and time again. When I was completely alone and completely depressed in Minneapolis; his books reminded me that there will always be something to laugh about in any given situation. When my mother was hospitalized in a city far from home, a Sedaris book is what I brought her to read. 

When I heard that he would be touring the States I was happy. 
When I discovered that he would be reading at the Genessee Theatre in Waukegan I just about crapped myself with joy.
For you the Genessee....I know a guy. A pretty damn important guy, a guy who loves that theatre with his heart and soul. And he just so happens to be a man I call my Uncle Frankie. 
As readers of this (online log of writing/notblogbecauseIdontlikethatword) may remember...I am not super-close with my extended family. So, for me to call in a favor was slightly awkward for me. 
Which was stupid. My dear sweet uncle was (dare I say) pleased to accommodate me. Regardless of the fact that I have been absent at most (if not all) recent family gatherings, he was welcoming and loving and ... just like I remembered. 
Gah. Family. They will tear your shit UP. Emotionally. Moving on.
My dear sweet uncle found us in the lobby and says, 'Do you have your stuff?' - meaning a book for the author to sign. 
'Yy-y-e-s.' I spluttered. 
'Then, if you would like to meet this gentleman, do exactly as I say and do not question what I am about to do.' my uncle (a formidable man) commanded. 
He then escorted us inside the theatre to a line of about six people waiting to get autographs. My heart began to pound. Now, I pride myself on coolness. I excel at being laid-back (most of the time). Not. Last.Night. 
I seriously almost started crying. This man is my Justin Bieber, my NKOTB, my Lady Gaga...I understand why people totally lose it when they meet someone who has touched their lives through art. 

Mr. Sedaris is not a large man. He is actually quite petite and adorable. He pleasantly smiled and thanked each person. He signed things for the theatre while faking a German accent. 
He had different colored Sharpies in a (what he might call) faggy silk patchwork pouch next to him. 
It was my turn. My throat closed completely. There were so very many things I wanted to say to him. How he saved my life. How his are the books I turn to when I feel down or have a long ride on public transportation. (I'm tearing up as I type this...EMO...GAWD)
I ended up saying something idiotic like, 'I am a huge fan, so excited about this evening blah blah blah, I'm kind of freaking out'
He looked at me (RIGHT AT ME!!!) and said, 'Well of're an Aries.'
WHAT. For a split second I think...oh it must be because I have red hair and a red jacket on...obviously the man is psychic. 
He said something about the depth of his knowledge. I realized that he's goofing on me, and that my uncle must have told him my birthday is on Saturday. 
I said something about feeling toasty. 
The man drew a sleeping piece of toast on my book. Pretty much the most endearing thing I've ever seen a stranger do. I'm still not over it. 
The reading was hysterical. The Genessee Theatre is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. My sister and brother-in-law were  amazing babysitters. My uncle astounded me with his kindness and generosity. 
On the way home I spilled an entire bottle on water in my shoes. Still a damn fine evening. 
In conclusion...your family will always surprise you; David Sedaris wants all of us to read Tobias Wolf; and water in your shoes can't kill the buzz of meeting your idol. 
On a different tip, I would like to wish a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my cousin Rachel (aforementioned uncle's daughter). She is and will always be a mere two days older than me. I doubt she reads this, but just in case...