Friday, May 27, 2011


It started at about 7:30 on Wednesday night. I was working and had gotten a snack from a certain alliterative pretzel place in the mall. The sweet mustard was expired, so I didn't eat it, and wasn't interested in returning it. The pretzel, however was fine. 
Or so I thought. 
Immediately after eating it I started having stomach cramps. thinking I had just not chewed enough, I set my jaw and finished the night. When I got home, I went straight to bed. 
Then it began. I'll spare you details. Let's just say it was awful. 2:45 in the morning saw me weak and praying for relief.  I still don't know if it was the pretzel or a 24-hour bug; either way I was out of commission all day yesterday. 
My amazing heroic manly darling husband stayed home from work to take care of Milo and I while I slept away the day. He also washed out the bucket (oh yeah there was a bucket) and all the bed linens.
He even went to store during Milo's naptime and got Redbox movies for the evening and special dinners for the guys (because all I could have were saltines). I really wish he were here so I could hug him. I'm lucky to have him. 
Anyways...we watched Gnomeo and Juliet (WAY MORE AWESOME THAN I THOUGHT!!!! RENEWED MY LOVE FOR ELTON JOHN!!!) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 
Best Harry Potter movie yet. I haven't read the books and never really got all crazy into the phenomenon; and I keep insisting that I've not seen all the films yet (Mr. Smith thinks I'm nuts), but this movie was AMAZING. The animated sequence about the three brothers was one of the most impressive things I have ever seen. 
And that is all.
Have a GOOD day. This weekend I am going to spend some time with my bestie for her birthday. If I only had the means to shower her with spa treatments and gifts...
But I think that feeling goes for all my loved ones. 
*little green smiley*

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Last Night

I didn't have to work, so I planned a tasty meal. Like one I used to cook before I started working nights. 
Nigella Lawson's Asian Braised Beef with Tangy Mashed Parsnips and Potatoes with Hot and Sour Shredded Salad. 

I was most of the way through the dinner prep when I reached under the sink and found (drum roll please)...


Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our ghetto, cheap-arse, janky no-name faucet finally bit the dust. 
This was what my Mac looked like last night:

Can you read my tabs? 'remove leaky faucet',
But my mother and father in law came over (after getting back from a cruise no less) and helped us out. Through the removal , the trip to Menards and the installation. 
And now I have a SWEEEEEET new kitchen faucet. There's a photo on Facebook. 
And the dinner got eaten, just without the salad or the wine pairing. Frankly, I'm thrilled just to have a working kitchen sink. 
Also...I have recently discovered two beauty maintenance treatments slash completely unnecessary expenses (depending on your opinion of these things):
Shellac Soak-Off nail color (and my friend Bethany to apply it for me)
Eyelash tinting
These are two things that really help me look (and feel) pulled together with basically no maintenance.
With the Shellac, my nails don't chip or break. I am not constantly having to file them down so they don't snag or cursing under my breath because I broke a nail while opening a cabinet.
I was raving about it at work the other day, and our resident Green Warrior was like, 'That is so toxic.'. I looked at her and and called her a freakin hippie. Although I do not think I said freaking.
I love it. My nails are like...actual NAILS.
Now the eyelash tinting. I went and got them done with a gift card, so it was a relatively frivolously spent $20. I am waiting to see how long it lasts...basically I am now keeping track of the growth cycle of my eyelashes for cost effectiveness purposes. Because I no longer need mascara! And there isn't makeup smeared below my eyes! Yay!
It's 20 bucks, and the time away from my wife/mother we'll see.
In closing: how about this WEATHER!? DAAAANG...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Comedic (very) Short

Int. Mid-Day. A townhouse in suburbia. 

A giggling and adorable three year old boy zooms around a corner and into a powder room. The child must dodge around the door and around the Bjorn potty chair that is wedged into the small room.  He is chased by his mother, a youngish oldish type that looks really familiar in a vague way. 

Child: 'Mommy you NO GET MEEEE haaaahahahhaa'

Mother: 'Oh I am gonna GET YOUUUUU hahahaaaa'

The child closes the powder room door as his mother stops short. The 'CLICK' of the door locking is audible. 

We see the waves of thought pass over the mother's face. Is he safe? Do I know how to unlock the door from the outside? What should I do , he's actually contained for a moment?

The mother jogs up the stairs. She enters her master bedroom and picks up a small box of large paper clips. Opens box, removes a single one. Unbends it part-way. With this she will unlock the door. 

The mother jogs back down the stairs. 

The bathroom door is open. 

There is pee all over the floor. The mother shakes her head and wonders 'why' for a split second before going into the kitchen for  some towels. 


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Thunder and Lightning OH MY Plus a Love Story.

Summer in Illinois means one thing...giant thunderstorms. 
Last night's was a big one. Thunder was shaking my house before a single drop fell. 
Then I went to work...came home...watched some of Scott Pilgrim (which I TOTALLY thought I was going to hate and I ended up REALLY liking so far)...went to bed around 1130...

And was awakened by massive thunder. Then I was further awakened by a frightened little boy crawling into my bed. 

You would think...that's sweet...snuggle with the kiddo and protect him from the scary thunderstorm all mommy-style...
Which happened. For all of eighteen seconds. Then he started kicking and asking questions. And shifting. At four AM. When my husband's alarm goes off at 5:37. Dang. 

He would only go back to his own bed if I gave him milk. Chocolate milk. Which I did. Because I was delirious. 
I have created a monster. 

Now. Today is my fourth wedding anniversary. I tell people that in the story of How Brian and Althea Got Together, I look really bad. Laughably so, even. I mean ... the story begins with me meeting him while he was dating my then-best friend. She and I are still close, but not as close as we were then. And that's totally ok! hi Becci! Love you!!!
Then there's the part where I got him to break it off with his fiancee when we reconnected almost 5 years later. 
Yeah. I know. Please don't judge me. 
But our relationship has proven to me time and again that God places us with people for a reason. My husband has helped me learn so much about myself. He is a hands-on dad and a loving husband. I don't write him the flowery love notes I used to. And I think I should try to do that more often. I will, hunney! I love you!!!
Some photos from the happy day 4 years ago:
Lighting the unity candle together that had been already lit by our mothers who are now , obviously united to each other. 

I just love this one. Right before the reception in the limo. 
Our wedding and reception were totally magical. It was an amazing party that also resulted in the union of two people who were meant for each other. 
Love you, Mr. Smith!!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Colors and The Things Around Us

Wow. I've been coming on to blogger and reading, not writing. That's not really the purpose. 
I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled on April 29th and am still healing. Let me tell you...having oral surgery is terrible. My only surgery reference point was abdominal surgery when I was 19 and my c-section with the kiddo. I was terrified. The only good thing about being a panicky freak is that things generally aren't as bad as I make them in my mind. 
So now I have holes in my mouth that are slowly slllllowly healing closed. They aren't too painful except for the lower left. The one with the nerve. That ow. 
Other changes to the Life of've been having nightmares about people who do not wish me well. Recently I have removed someone (rather harshly, in retrospect) from my life and I'm dreaming about her. 
But last night was a doozy. About a woman I shall refer to as Melissa. In real life, she's got something against me. In my dream last night she was being fake-nice and tricksy. Yuck. 
Moving on. 
I am finally feeling well enough and the weather is finally dependably nice enough for daily walks around the hood. I'm taking advice from Rebecca Woolf and bringing the camera along. 
He wasn't angry-he was trying to unscrew the bolt on the hydrant. 
Yesterday we debuted his big wheel. Pedaling is hard, so he just mostly scooted around with his feet. 

And then we went home.