Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Kristen Bell

Occasionally I will find myself thinking back to the time when women were treated as fragile beings. When women got things called 'the hysterics' and fainting couches were in many homes. 

This time frame may only exist in my mind due to the novel Little Women and the few period dramas I ever saw. A time when women had to be handled gently and carefully. A woman needed help getting into a carriage...etc...the kids had to be quiet because mummy was having the vapors...stuff like that. 

Occasionally I will wish for a time like this. When I am feeling emotional and out of control. Basically, anywhere above a 7 or below a 3 on the emotional scale.

Kristen Bell knows EXACTLY what I am talking about here. 

Reposted from GGC

Thank you. 

Long Time Gone

And I've not abandoned you, dear little interwebs space...

I have some really wonderful excuses and anecdotes, if you're interested in hearing them. 

Here's my life so far:

Sinus issues while pregnant are the WORST. There are few medications that will provide relief. 

We are in the process of a short sale on our townhouse. Yes, STILL. Last night it was decided that I need to begin the pre-packing organization, because we don't know when it will go through. And when it does, we might have a mere 2 weeks to get the f OUT. 

And it just so happens that I will be leaving my family for a week during the beginning of February. First time I've traveled alone since well before I was married and a mother. I am going to try very hard not to cry in front of the kiddo. Or right now thinking about it. 

Hence the need for such a thing as pre-packing organization. I shudder at the thought. This will require coffee and a way to entertain kid while I tackle the shithole that is our master bedroom closet. Or any of our closets, really. I am horribly disorganized. If I could wake up with a super power tomorrow, it would be to become and gain joy from organization.

(the truth is that while I long for it, I don't give a shit about it enough to actually put things back where they belong)

I know it drives my DH insane in tiny increments. And he still loves me. He's contractually obligated to. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

For The Record

I do regret talking shit about The Arcade Fire. 

I love how my husband pushes me to go outside my comfort zone and do things I don't initially want to do, but end up having fun doing. 

I am currently allowing my son to jump off his bed onto the floor. 

I am going to paint my fingernails glittery gold today , dammit. 

TOMS and Passport

I really must commend the customer service team at TOMS shoes. I didn't have high hopes for a shoe replacement, as I didn't have the original packaging and the purchase had been made months months ago. 
I sent them an email and some photos of my falling-apart shoes and they are sending me a replacement pair, in a better size, fabric, and color! My standards for customer service are pretty high, and I am totally impressed with the way I was treated. I give them high marks. I don't even have to send the old shoes back. Color me impressed. Impressed is a sparkly red, I think...

On a work note....my store won our holiday contest!!!! We kicked ASS and the staff won a trip to Vancouver to work in the factory for a week! That means I get my own special little face sticker!!! I get to make stuff! Like bath bombs and soap and shit!!!! I get to meet the people who make the stuff I sell. 

That is...if my passport gets through in time. I have a valid passport, but it is in my maiden name-BOO....
If the expedited process goes as it should, I will come in just under the wire to go on this trip. Good vibes and thoughts and prayers are all appreciated. 

And now...my firsty first first video!!! Please ignore my noisy kid (he was on the potty) and my unmade bed. Or don't...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

This and That

Since having my spawn, my beauty routine has been pared down dramatically on the days it is not completely nonexistent.

I have no time or patience for shitty products. 

To that end, please do not ever buy this mascara, however much you may love Gwen Stefani (who is their spokesmodel):
It clumps, it flakes and it makes me angry.

Buy this one instead:
In black, of course. Brown mascara is for weenies. This one separates, defines and makes me happy. 

Now we move from lashes to feet.

Do not ever buy these:
Yes, the madras plaid on the inside is adorable. Yes, you THINK that burlap would make for a much more durable shoe than canvas...but you would be wrong and your shoes would have holes in them after a month of wear. 

You are welcome. I'll post some photos of human beings eventually. 

Thursday, January 12, 2012


I put on a LOT of weight with kiddo # 1. It was a good time, don't get me wrong. But working out sucks and being out of shape sucks too. This time I have sworn to myself to NOT become gargantuan. But food's siren song is rather loud and strong. I love to eat. I love good food (and not-so good) and lack much self-control. So I try. And I have already exercised SIX more times with this kid than I did while incubating kid #1!
But, then I ate one of those yellow Hostess cupcakes. Have you ever had one of those???? THEY HAVE CRACK IN THEM. 
Yay me?

Moving on...back in the day I listened to a really cool chick band called the Donnas. They had songs about making out with boys and kicking ass and rocking out. 
What ever happened to them?
Haha...maybe they got married, knocked up and decided to be SAHMs like me. Hahah. Sort of just cracked myself up there. 

It has been steadily snowing for about four hours now, but the plows/salt trucks seem to be on top of it. And my dear brother-in-law drives a snowplow, so I am grateful for the snow on their behalf.


She loved my kid to pieces from the moment she knew of his existence. I pray that I will be able to convey that love to her kid. 
Here come the waterworks...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Hope

This melts your brain as it did mine:

Tuesday morning on my way to the kid's dentist (see prior entry), I stopped at the library drive-thru to return a book and a DVD. Our library parking lot is usually pretty crowded so I drive extremely cautiously through it. 
As I slowed to make the left-hand turn into the drive-thru lane, I noticed a small red sports car ahead of me with it's hazards on. The car slows, then parks. In the middle of the lot-not in an actual parking space. An elderly gentleman exits the car and proceeds to WALK UP to the DRIVE-THRU lane of the library, book in hand. 
Now, the actual door to the library is approximately 30 feet from the drive-thru lane, and the actual book return in right inside the lobby. 
The elderly gentleman knocks on the window. I see the drawer open. He returns the book and walks back to his car. 

My questions:
Why didn't he park his car in a spot and walk his books in?


Yeah. A brain-melter.

This story brought to you by the insanity that lurks on the edges of my existence. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. 


This entry has a theme!!!
Yesterday I took the kid to the dentist to smooth a small chip in one of his front teeth. The office is nearby my in-law's, and my MIL was home for the day babysitting my darling nephew. (he really is darling-probably the smiliest baby I have ever seen-and he LOVES my kid). I offered to bring her lunch, and she invited us over to eat and play with the baby. She also suggested that I go to a nearby store in the mall to get kiddo a winter jacket for next year, as they were on CRAZY sale (like, she got him a $110 jacket that ended up costing $30. wow). She also (knowing my love of tall boots) told me to look at the sale boots so that I could potentially select my early birthday gift. 
WHOO HOO!!!!!!
So, I got these:
image source
DH thinks they look like hooker boots. I disagree and am trembling with excitement at wearing them. I've wanted boots from this brand FOREVER (well, since my bestie got some) and could never afford them. They were on crazy sale too. 
SO....YAY!!! and... THANKS!!!!!!!

Now to the weirdness:

My DH gets up rather early for work. He does this so that he can be HOME early enough for me to go to work - on the nights I do that sort of thing. 
Generally I poke him in the back when his alarm goes off; as I am awakened and alert by the second BEEPBEEP, and it takes him until full volume to move. 
I usually fall back asleep until the kid comes into my room to inform me that it is day and I need to get up. The down time usually lasts anywhere from a half-hour to one full hour.
My dreams during this time are rather vivid. This morning was particularly disturbing and quite real.
I was standing in my master bathroom with a large sharp hunting knife in my right hand. I was fit and muscular (which is how I knew it was a dream, haha) in a black tank top. I had used the knife to cut small lines around my left forearm and bicep, as a sort of tribal decoration. They had scabbed over and didn't hurt. I began to 'decorate' my right arm with my left hand. 
The next thing I knew, I had a deep cut in my right palm. This one hurt and I could not stem the flow. I could feel the roughness of the washcloth as I pressed it against my palm, and I could feel the door as someone tried to come in-opening the door against my body weight. I concentrated and got the wound bandaged.
Then the kid woke me up. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the light he had turned on, but I ran my left fingers over my right palm and felt nothing but smooth skin.
I hate when dreams stay with you upon waking. This entry is my attempt at purging that memory. By....making all you people read about it. Hah. 

Monday, January 9, 2012

Further Proof

That I need pink hair:

But my DH already told me that pink hair would make him less attracted to me physically.

Back To Facebookin

It was a nice break!
I don't plan to access it on my phone, and I will do my best to keep it to once or twice a week. 

I'm basically reactivating my account so I can find the two badass couples that the husb and I spent Saturday evening with. 

We attended a wedding of two particularly delightful people. During the ceremony , I leaned to DH and whispered, 'do you recognize ANYONE?'
With the exception of the groom, the bride and the groom's family, the answer was no.
Being pregnant, I had to pee immediately after the short Lutheran ceremony (sidenote, while I am not Lutheran, I must say that their churches are astoundingly beautiful. Modern and just...wow.). By the time I returned, DH had recognized old pals from college. Intellectual and hilarious, we got along famously. While they all enjoyed the semi-open bar, I remained sober and participated in the analysis of the wedding music.

Semi-related thought: Am I a hipster?

Saturday night was the second time in a week that someone had called me one. This, after nearly 29 years of not being called anything but my own name. 
The first time, I denied it, because the girl who called me one is only 23. And she said I was one because I played the Black Keys while we were closing together.
The second time, I denied it, because the reason behind it was that I named two semi-obscure musical references at the afore-mentioned wedding. My defense was that I do not own any skinny jeans. The reply was, "...that you KNOW OF..."
Which was pretty hilarious. 
I considered myself too old, too fat and too much of a married mother to be a hip ANYTHING, really. It took me until today to Google it.
Shit...they might be right...
Your thoughts?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

How Do I Love...

Having a few moments to myself with which to browse the Anthro website:
I don't plan on buying any more maternity clothes, BUT if I did-these are a few things I would shamelessly purchase for myself.

To wear with leggings

I feel as though the openwork on the bottom would act as air conditioning in the summer. 

Dolman sleeves to cover my upper arm flab , extra fabric for my soon-to-be-large belly and a longish length to wear (you guessed it) OVER LEGGINGS

I would pretend this is a version of tuxedo tails, when really I am glad it would cover any embarrassing buttcrack.

Yay for uneven hemlines!
Images all sourced from Anthropologie.com

Also-I have an old diaper bag from 1154 Lill that I designed (thatnk you FIFCO friends), and a Baby Bjorn backpack both leftover from Milo...
I REALLY like this one. It looks slightly Gucci.
And it is a dream of mine to own a bag like this:
pssssst...never gonna happen....but I can dream...le sigh.

It is on my Amazon wish list-along with many other way-too-damn-expensive things. 
Today I saw a very nice woman who has some letters after her name and the qualifications to help me not be an anxious, frustrated mess. She referred me to another woman with letters after her name who is also a strong Christian. 
I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for this. 
I was also recommended acupuncture. Let's hope that my HMO will cover it. Or I can find some back alley doc who is willing to do it in return for cupcakes and/or sourdough bread.
Many oodles of thanks to my dear brother-in-law for coming over (with his baby) to watch my kiddo.
Thanks, Lil Brudder. 
The end. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


I do believe that most of the people that read this blog are people I actually know in real life, and hence, this news will come as no surprise.

Without further adieu, I would like to announce to those of you that I do NOT see in person on a semi-regular basis that I am currently an incubator to a 11-week old fig-sized creature

No photos, as I merely look bloated. I plan on taking some once I find batteries for my camera and something I look cute in. 

To be brutally honest, I have been completely exhausted and emotional these past weeks. Sorry, Husband (and anyone else that I've been a wreck to recently, namely my kiddo). 
I feel an anxiety I am not used to and will be speaking with a qualified individual tomorrow morning. Thank you, Brother-In-Law for babysitting. 
I don't think there is anything to worry about, but as I am a lucky person with healthcare, I found it prudent to tell my doctor about these feelings. 
Holiday hours at the stupid mall are over, and I am heading into my second trimester with joy, as the nausea and exhaustion will soon be a thing of the past. 
I saw my creature's profile in an ultrasound not too long ago and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. 

Kiddo wants to add something here:

baby come here (he just dictated that)
and doggie
and daddy too
and play a game with daddy
let's go now watch a moooovieeee mommy...