Friday, March 30, 2012


I think I should find a way to hook up an IV line of saline so I can stay hydrated. My skin is super dry, I crave salt constantly and my lips are chapped-wtf.

I should just stay in the bathroom, since I'm peeing constantly...


Some recent developments:

My son is now waking during the night and attempting to come sleep in our bed. I wouldn't mind this if he were having nightmares, but I don't think he is. Last night we had a discussion about it, and he expected to be walked back into his room instead of being allowed to sleep (kick, snore, disturb) with us. I do love being physically close to my snugglemonster, but mommy needs her sleep. I can't sleep with a belly AND a collection of limbs and breath all up in my face. 

Last night I only needed to take him back to his room twice. Perhaps the Lord is preparing me for the wakeful nights with an infant. Or just trying to convince me that consecutive hours of sleep are for wimps. 

My DH has accepted a new job! This is a total and complete answer to prayer. God works in such...WAYS. We had been praying and hoping and waiting for a change for years...he would go on interviews...nothing...and then, within a week...three opportunities. I am so happy for this development that I could weep. Hopefully he will now be more fulfilled in this new position. 

And, last but not least...




With the help of my generous in-laws, the DH's generous boss (for allowing him to take some vacation time), and an amazing offer from Disney...we are totally going. 

I am getting more excited by the day. The last non-family trip we took was a long pre-Christmas weekend at a water park with some dear friends. 

That's about it. Now the kid and I are headed to Target for weekend supplies. 

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friends and Blessings

Friends are gifts that the universe gives you.

I am blessed with some good ones. 

Women that visit me at work just because. 

Women that share my twisted sense of humor. 

Co-workers that ask if they can 'keep me' after the upcoming change happens. 

Women that I haven't seen in year that still rally on Facebook to help with an issue. 

Dana, Rosie, Debbie, Jen, Kate, Rachel, and of course Megan and Emilie. 

I hold you all closely.  

Friday, March 23, 2012

Do You Feel It?

The shift of energy.
It is coming. 
It is here. 
It is beginning. 

I will let you watch and I remove my shoes, close my eyes and dive headfirst into the unknown. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012


Yesterday after dropping the kid off at school I did something I generally do...ran errands. Typical suburban mom thing to do, right?

Only there was something about yesterday that was different. The sun was shining and I had good music blasting loudly. 

It brought me back to a time past. A time when one drove with windows down and music blasting. No one asking me to put the windows up or turn down the volume. 

A time when I wasn't responsible for anyone but myself. The feeling of freedom, of escape. Like the first time you go out with your friends for a long summer drive. Of escaping your parents, your school, your job. 

The wind was in my hair, The Sprawl II was at 12 and I was taking turns a bit too fast in my (station wagon). The thump of bass was gentle but present against the small of my back. I stuck my arm out the window and allowed the tears to pool in my eyes. (things of beauty make me weep)

I felt like I did when my first boyfriend would come pick me up on summer days. Free. Exactly like my very own self. 

But something was different beyond the fact that I was no longer 15 years old.

There was an echo of the bass thump. The very distinct kick of my Smith In Utero. 

That is what made me weep. That I am able to feel like 15 again while gestating something within me that will one day feel that feeling. 


I may have posted this song before. My DH says it is about loving someone and them not loving you back, but I disagree. I think it is about the potential within oneself. And being so very ready with it. I cannot listen to this song pregnant and keep my eyes dry. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Brain Dump

Smith In Utero is now the size of a spaghetti squash. Weird.

Regardless of the number of wacky nail polishes I own, I continually return to classic pinks and reds.

Thank you cards for the kiddo's fourth will go out this week if it kills me. Which it shall not.

Everyone says prenatal vitamins make their hair and nails grow superfast. This is not the case with me currently. Boo.

DIY deodorant is the best thing EVER. 

My coconut oil application is up to twice a day. 

I think nighttime showers make more sense.

I haven't exercised in weeks. And I sort of don't intend to.

Until the DH told me I could dye my hair, I REALLY wanted to. Now that he said he doesn't care...I sort of don't want to...

The rest of the Weekend!

On Sunday we skipped church, packed up the kids and headed to Brookfield Zoo. It was a perfect day...sunny and not too hot, with an amazing cool breeze. 
This new giraffe has the cutest baby wrinkles. 

The entrance to the Great Bear Wilderness has a really cool buffalo exhibit.

Sleepy buffalo

The cousins on a polar bear.

I love birds of prey.

I felt bad for this polar looks hot, no?

None of these children are bigger than a grizzly.

My in-laws and nephew looking at penguins (or, as Milo calls them, pengiungs).


These machines have been here since I was a little kid. 

Grandparents on iPhones.

Boating in the swamp.

Many thanks to DH for photographing the day, to the in-laws for coming with us and to Mother Earth for beautiful weather!!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

What a Weekend

A St. Patrick's Day Easter Egg hunt.
Cousins in town.
A zoo visit. 
Playing outside in this beautiful weather. 
Who said weekends were relaxing?!?
Children in disguise

The starting line


The spoils
Many thanks to my in-laws for hosting the weekend. Milo had a blast. 
More photos tomorrow, and another one of my dh's videos...

Friday, March 16, 2012

Anatomy of a Morning

5:30 A.M.: Hubby's alarm begins beeping quietly, then louder. And faster. And louder. Kick hubby gently, as he only wakes/hits snooze when alarm is at its loud fastest. Alarm is meant to hold and play an iPod, but the dock is dusty.

5:something after that A.M.: Small rambunctious child barrels into my bed. He claims he wants to snuggle but this is a lie. What he wants to do is bash his head into mine and beat me with his limbs. And breathe his stinky morning breath in my face. 

6:04 A.M.: Roll over and try to protect myself from the 'snuggles'. Small rambunctious child wanders into bathroom to tell Daddy that he likes his outfit. 

6:06 A.M.: Force myself into awake. It is painful. 

6:09 A.M.: Fling covers off my body and go get my robe. 
Go downstairs. Make coffee. Start toasting some bread. 

6:15 A.M.: Kiss husband goodbye. Wish him a nice day. Put on a Ghostbusters DVD for small rambunctious child because I need to drink coffee. Finish making toast. 

6:18 A.M.: Check Blogger while drinking coffee and eating peanut butter toast. Consider writing a post after being inspired by blogs I follow. 

6:something else: Shake small rambunctious child off my right arm.

(somehow 45 minutes passes)

7:02 A.M.: go snuggle with small not-so-rambuctious child on couch and consider to-do list for the day. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Second Installment

Sometimes, my DH likes to play around with iMovie. This really says it all...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Three Thirteen Twenty Twelve

Motherhood. Four years ago today I was initiated into this bizarro world. 

Today my son and I have gone to Wal-Mart for Silly String and a cherry Icee. The Silly String was something he asked me for ages ago and I 'promised' to him for his birthday. He re-asked for it when he woke me up at 6am. 

Today my husband has a job interview with a company he worked for years ago. This could potentially change our lives for the way better. 

The Silly String is now gone, sprayed onto each other with giggles. Good times. 

What I came here to blog about is something that literally just happened. (warning-it involves my ass and the bathroom)

My husband had come home to change into his suit before his interview, and to play Silly String with the kid and me. I needed to use the bathroom before we went outside, but seeing as there was a time element involved, I decided to hold it. 

(the kid just came in here telling me he wanted to type. this is after I've told him fifteen thousand times that I will be with him in a few minutes when I am finished. I told him no he may not type. he is now having a major fit on the stairs, yelling, 'why whyyyyyyyyy'. Jesus Lord help me)

So. Went outside. Silly String. Wooo. Came back inside. Husband was doing his final prep---teeth brushed, fresh shave, etc.  I once again decided to hold it because I figured that I would need to sit for a few minutes and I wanted to be able to say goodbye to husb.

We're now going on twenty minutes. After being accused of being crabby, I explain that I have been holding it for twenty minutes and AM NOT CRABBY!

Husband leaves. Son goes into his room. I dash into my master bath to finally relieve myself. 
The type of scream that demands immediate attention. (by the way, he is still wailing on the stairs right now)
So, I RUN out of the bathroom, pants around my ankles, to go rescue my son who is obviously in grave danger, on fire, or being dragged to hell by demons. 
To find...

Him with his arm between the bed and the wall. Screeching for help. I pull him up. No blood. No demons. No fire. 

He wanted the (expletive deleted expletive deleted expletive deleted) Chipmunk toy that had fallen down there.

except I cannot because I am pregnant. Have a glass (or four) for me, if that's your thing. 

In conclusion, he came to me and apologized and now wants to snuggle with me and watch Ghostbusters. Its not that I'm complaining. I just feel that this part of life needs EXPOSURE. 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Birthday Party!!!

This past weekend was action-packed!
On Saturday we had Milo's kid party at Chuck E. Cheese, and the family party at home two hours later. 
A long day, but none of it felt like work. We were surrounded with kind friends and family who love us and wish us well. 
One of the many games we played. My bestie's daughter (the cute ginger in the photo wit us) came along because she's helpful like that. We love us some Caroline!!!

CEC does a pretty awesome party. Chuck E. came out and sang to the birthday kids. Milo was psyched. 

I think he was doing the robot here. 

Milo got an inflatable crown with tokens stuck in it! How cool is that?! And a medal, which he held onto most of the day. He kept holding it up like Garth and Wayne did with their Alice Cooper backstage passes. 

So...Milo and Brian went into the ticket blast thing to grab tickets. You're basically encased in a plastic bubble with about a million tickets blowing around. And you're supposed to grab as many as you can. While five thousand little children stare and you and one annoying dad (not with our group) sreams, 'STEP ON THE MILLION TICKET ONE!!!! STEP ON IT!!!!'
But Milo did get a bunch of tickets stuck in his crown. WORD!

Chuck E. Cheese balloon, what? Milo kept trash talking it and pushing it around. 
It was a great party! I got more photos, but they include some of the other attendees, and as they are 4 years old, I'm not going to be posting their photos online. 
Today Milo's class is going to Petland to continue their 'Pet Week' , and I am going along. After that I need to pick up Brian's suit from the dry cleaner's and figure out what to do with the rest of the beef carnitas I made on Saturday. 

More photos to come tomorrow. I've got to leave you wanting SOMETHING, right?!
As a side note, we attended a service at Harvest Bible Chapel Lake Zurich yesterday, and as always, the message was one I needed to hear. A difficult one, but just the one I needed (and will likely continue to need). 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Thursday Schmursday

For some reason, the almost-last weekday generally arrives with a cloud of grouchiness. 

I'm not sure why. I usually feel as though I am spent by this day. Some people hate Mondays. I hate Thursdays. 

This Thursday is met with my grumpy face. 

Maybe I need to make a Thursday gratitude list.

I'm going to go do some hydrotherapy, then I think I will paint my toenails red (Hello Sailor! by China Glaze, to be precise). It should help. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


A wise woman told me an analogy yesterday that really struck a chord. 

'If the opposing football team leaves the ball on the 50 yard line, you don't have to pick it can leave the ball right there.'

Now, I don't profess to know a whole lot about football, but my first reaction was (and this may speak more to my emotional state than to my football knowledge) that if the opposing team doesn't have the ball, don't YOU want it?
Like, in the case of a fumble?

Whatever. We weren't talking about football...we were talking about leaving other peoples' issues with the other people. 

Like, there is only so much you can do to fix any relationship. People have their own issues, and generally you cannot fix them. Unless it is your job and you have years of schooling behind you. 

I struggle with this. I have issues. I pray for God to heal the root of my issues, because Satan is strong, and tricky, and an asshole. 

And sometimes it is really hard for me to understand that the problem isn't always ME. 

I don't have to pick up the football. I will deny my urge and leave it there. Because I don't freaking play, and I won't ever. 

This is not some veiled message to anyone. This post is about me, because this is my blog. 

That being homemade deodorant is SO working. The moisturizer, not so skin is still pretty itchy...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Yesterday I went to Whole Foods and bought a jar of virgin coconut oil, for two major reasons: one, I wanted to use it for my scaly dry skin; and two, I wanted to make my own deodorant.

I have run the gamut of natural deos and I always end up stinky. It sucks. I've tried EVERYTHING except that really expensive stuff at Whole Foods that just contains (basically) baking soda and essential oil. 

I use an in-shower solid moisturizer from Lush and was doing everything I could to avoid dry itchy flaky skin...lukewarm showers, cocoa butter lotion, natural stuff, vitamin E oil...etc. etc.

It seemed as though the last thing I had to try was coconut oil. 

Today is my first full day of testing both the moisturizer and the deo. 
The deo is basically 1/2 cup coconut oil, 1/4 cup each of baking soda and cornstarch, beaten together with about 40 drops of essential oil (I used grapefruit and lavender). You can find recipes anywhere online. Google it...
The coconut oil is virgin (not extra virgin, because I didn't read the label properly,oh well) and smells DELICIOUS and fit for consumption, but I feel weird eating something I am also smearing on my body. 

So far I've showered and applied both. I currently smell like a tropical drink , which is an improvement on smelling like B.O. immediately post shower/deodorant application (yeah...gross). 

I'll update you as my experiment progresses.  

Monday, March 5, 2012


Once upon a time I was having a conversation with my husband about hair...or something like that. husband RARELY expresses preferences regarding my hair. He is NOT one of those men who need their women to have long hair. So when he expresses a preference, I do my best to accommodate him.
And here is where we encounter a problem (and return to aforementioned conversation). He told me that he had no idea what my natural hair color was. I confessed that neither did I. I also informed him that MOST women color their hair. I believe my words were,
'You ask five married men what their wives' natural hair color is, and I bet you money at least four of them won't know.'

I have been coloring my hair since 7th grade. Why? Well, a picture is worth a thousand words:

See that? Yep, that's old dye at the bottom and my natural color (I call is BLAH, as it is neither blonde nor brown) at the roots. 
Its ugly and I hate it . 
But I am pregnant and broke... what to do?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Brain Dump

Two separate units in my building contain yappy dogs. They bark at me EVERY time I walk in, as though I am going to kidnap and torture their masters. Its super annoying. 

Today I told my son that he could bark back. He happily obliged. I'm sick of trying to make him be quiet in the common area (out of courtesy to our neighbors) while these dogs bark at me like I'm an intruder. 

Whomever decided to put sea salt and chocolate together is a fucking genius. 

'Thank you for supporting Goodwill, and have a nice day.' is a fantastic sentence. 

Pregnancy causes my skin to rebel against me. Irritation, dryness and funk. It blows. 

Social networking is kind of stupid. 

I started writing a poem in my head the other night while I was trying to fall asleep. It was a sad poem, and I don't remember it. But I think it was well written. 

I miss being excited to go to work. Perhaps its the cyclical nature of life, or maybe I don't have a long attention span when it comes to a 'career'. But I dread it now. I've met fantastic people whom I am now honored to call friends. 
I have also met people whom I once thought were fantastic until their inner asshole came out and raised its ugly head. 

Parenting is extremely challenging. If you are reading this and your parents are still alive, you should thank them. They did their best and didn't mean to fuck you up. 

I am not sad.