For Lack of a Notebook

This girl Jessica that I know (well, I met her once and we read each others' blogs. and she went to college with my husband. does that qualify as 'knowing' someone?) has a lot of notebooks in which to record her ideas/dreams/etc. For some reason I have none. I use this blog. 
So....sorry...?
I had to...?
I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights. Could be for a number of reasons. 
I tend to wake up at or around 3:30 in the morning. It is a terrible hour...not quite morning, not quite nighttime. Early enough to want to go back to sleep, but close enough to daytime to consider saying 'fuckit' and getting up. 
It is generally after I 'win' the struggle to fall back asleep at this hour that I have been having these bizarre dreams. 
This morning's happened at some weird 'The Prisoner'-type resortprison. My husband was there, and I think so were a few other family members. We were instructed to climb a staircase that looked like it was part of a pop-up book.
All papery and fold-y. 
Occasionally a tab would be pulled by an unseen presence and the steps would disappear. All the people would disappear too. 
I begin to climb. I can see the rear end of the woman in front of me who, for some reason I KNOW is this girl I went to elementary school with named Dorothy Syzmanski. She does not look back and I never see her face, but I know it is her. 
The steps begin to pull back into the structure, and a rope is thrown to us. I know that I must rappel my way up to the top. I hold the rope, secure in my own strength to make it to the top. I feel like I should be scared, but I am not. I know I will not fall. But I repeat to myself , 'Do not look down. Just don't look down and you won't fall or be scared. '
So I focus on the top of Dorothy Syzmanski's head. 
And I make it to the top. 

Hope This Invokes Giggles

A woman comes into my shop last night. She's got 2 grandsons with her, one in a stroller, kind of fussy. Another about age 6 or 7, behaving well. 
The woman comes up to me-she's got dark hair and eyes and is wearing a wildly patterned shirt. I peg her as a cool lady. 


She leans in, 'I have a question for you.'
Me: 'I have an answer. Hit me...'
She: 'These soaps...are they...um, how do I say this (puts her hands to her mouth in thought)...can you...aaahhh...'
Me: 'Just spit it out. You won't offend me. I'm here to help.'
She: 'Are they safe...for the ...ah...VAGINA?'
Me:'(total straight face) Well, yes...but you need to use common sense. You wouldn't use a soap called SANDSTONE (that has sand IN IT) to wash your girly bits, now would you?'


Highlight of the evening. 

Breathe. Step. Continue.

I tried to watch The Runaways last night, but the husb and I were both pretty tired. 
I think I got about halfway through it. Gotta say...it took me a second to believe Dakota Fanning as a badass. But I got there, eventually. 
Now I want to listen to the Runaways. Because chicks rule. 


Some crazy sheeeyit happening...my mom and I are both working on Mondo tributes because we think he got ROBBED. 
DAMN YOU WHATSERFACE** (the judge that isn't Heidi or Michael, her name escapes me because she SUCKS)!!!!!!


Busy day today. Just bloggin to blog. 
To all my new bloggy pals...thanks for the love. You make me smile. 
VIRTUAL HUGSIES TO YOU


**nina garcia. or..as I like to call her...horseface...