Friday, June 25, 2010

Apathy and Justin Beiber and Dreams

He's catchy, I can't help it. My Bff's daughter was having a dance party with Milo last night, and one of JB's songs got stuck in my head. 'its like, baby baby baby...ooooohhhh'
Gah. Pop music. 

I am currently fighting through a wave of the aforementioned apathy. I just don't wanna. 


Doing the shit you don't wanna do, when you don't wanna do it? Like now, I do NOT want to go have Jillian Michaels yell at me, but I know I will feel better if I do. I do NOT want to go unload, reload, and run the dishwasher, or scrub Monaboogers off the bathroom floor. 
But if I don't do it, it won't get done, and if it doesn't get done...well, that's a slippery slope to becoming gross. 

Saw an old friend last week(end). She and I used to be inseparable. She was a major part in me leaving my hometown and my exposure to 'the real world'. Now she lives in Portland, Oregon; living her dream of going to school to become a gemologist and jeweler. She and I are not as close as we used to be, and I think that's best. So does she (I think). Sometimes that happens-the closest of friends grow apart. And it can be okay. I am beyond happy for her and I hope that she gets everything she wants in life. I always admire people who follow their dreams. 
I guess I never really knew what mine were. 
If I had a choice and could pick any job to do...well right now I would truly choose the job I have now. Yeah, I have to clean up poop and squashed goldfish a lot more often than I'd like (and I will spare you those details), but I am also forming a bond with my son that will last forever. 
But someday, when my son is grown, I will be able to pursue my other interests fully. Like painting, and writing. 
Don't get me wrong. I KNOW that I could still pursue those things. But you know what? After a day of shit-cleaning, cooking, playing, selling and all the other random crap I do during a day...I cannot seem to find the energy to do anything other than flop onto the couch with a drink. Someday...someday I will rally. I just know it. 
That's it for now, babes...I'm gonna go enter my calories and work out. Middle sister's wedding is SOON!!!!

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