Dear Underarms,
Both of you...I am sorry for whatever I have done to mortally offend you and cause you to become red and irritated. I cleanse you with Lush shower gel, shave you with Dirty shaving cream, (attempt to) deodorize you with natural , aluminum-free Lush deos.
And yet you rebel. You stink and look burned. People say you cannot smell your own body odor...mine must be a special musk because I so can smell myself.
Please come correct, dear pits. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I need you to smell not gross and be somewhat hairless. I am sorry for that waxing debacle. I will never do it again.
Get it together. Please. For the sake of us all.
Sincerely,
the brain behind all this
i stopped using antiperspirant and have been using tom's of maine deodorant only, and we have no air conditioning in my apartment, so i can always smell if i have a body odor. i've noticed it's very related to what i eat. gross.
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