I was waiting to write a post about my new living/dining room floor, and I will. But I need to get something off my chest, and maybe ask the internets a question.
Last night my dear husband told me that I seem to have less and less energy than I used to. And he's right. I used to be able to stay up until the wee hours and still be able to rock it out the next day.
But those were the days when I could shower without worry. I could do my makeup and pick out a cute outfit knowing that the only person to get food on it would be ME. I could wear dry-clean only clothes without feeling like a moron.
MAJOR HONESTY ALERT
I NEVER thought I would be a mom. Ever. For a number of reasons. One of them being that I am an incredibly selfish person. I generally put Althea first, and I never wanted to change that. Then a few things happened to me in VERY quick succession:
I became a Christian-which is a rather humbling thing.
I fell in love with someone I NEVER figured I would fall in love with.
I got married.
I got pregnant.
I became a SAHM.
These things literally happened within three years of each other.
Hey-I like to do things fast.
To say I am still adjusting is kind of bullshit. I have been a wife for three years and a mom for two. I should HAVE this by now. But I don't. I feel like a constant failure that is always three steps behind.
But Althea...(you say)...you are the luckiest woman EVER! You have a roof over your head, an eternity in Heaven, the most adorable family, AND a part time job at the store you LOVE!!! What the hell is your problem!!???!!
Exactly. Ex-freaking-actly. what the hell is my problem. Maybe I just need to start a gratitude journal and tattoo it on my arms.
I guess, my question is this: How do I get some of my original, kickass, Althea-is-a-cool-chick groove back?
Sort of rhetorical. Now I am going to take photos of my SWEET NEW FLOOR. Yet another thing for me to be grateful for. DANG IT I AM SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL WRETCH!!!!!!!!